Sometimes I Have to Boss My Heart Around

I caught my heart heading to the pit of discouragement for Spring break last week. It was supposed to go to the beach with the rest of me and my family, but she had snuck some other plans into her itinerary.

I was feeling overwhelmed, discouraged and pulled in a million directions. I'd gotten my hopes up about getting lots of writing done at the beach and just being renewed. Although I did get to spend some sweet time with Jesus and write a little, all kinds of things were going on back at home and in my head to interrupt my grand intentions and usher in disappointment. It was the kind of stuff that can get a hold of your heels and drag you into a pit.

I knew I didn't have to go there. It was not part of God's plans, nor mine. I had a choice but my heart had already packed her bags and was on her way.

So, I had to get bossy with her! In the midst of processing that one of my dearest friends might have ovarian cancer and that it's not possible for me to meet my May 1st book deadline, I had to tell my soul praise the Lord!! Not just a surface-like "say your bedtime prayers" talk to my soul. No, this was a deep down preach it to my inmost being GOD-IS-GOOD no matter what sermon!

I had to boss my discouraged heart with God's truth and pull her away from the pit by reminding her to "forget not all His benefits."

Then I walked her down memory lane... reminding her that He is the One who...

forgives all (my) sins and heals all (my) diseases,

redeems (my) life from the pit

and crowns (me) with love and compassion,

who satisfies my desires with good things

so that my youth is renewed like the eagle's.

(I'm not sure how the young eagle thing plays out in everyday life but it's a promise so I praised Him for it.)

The bottom line was that my soul needed me to remind it of all God's benefits. No matter what the answer would be to Micca's diagnosis, no matter how much writing I didn't get done, or how much our broken air conditioner was going to cost, or how much we owed on taxes, or how delayed my book release may be...

When my heart started remembering all HIS benefits, she backed away from the pit and found another dwelling place - smack dab in the center of living and trusting God's sovereignty over all things.

Praise the LORD, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits;

And, on Friday afternoon we found out Micca's cysts were cancer free!!! The doctors said they were very surprised. The scans of her cyst looked cancerous and her symptoms had all pointed towards cancer, plus her cysts (ended up being 2 and one was the size of a small grapefruit) had tentacles and were taking over in there. We fully believe God granted Micca healing and we cannot stop praising and thanking HIM!! Thank you for praying and caring about her with me!!

Praise the LORD, O my soul; all my inmost being, praise his holy name. (Psalm 103)