Hi there bloggy friends and She Speaks attendees! Lysa is hosting a Mr Linky for She Speaks attendees so we can all get to know each other before we get to the conference in just 3 short weeks! I can't wait to spend a whole weekend together laughing, learning and experiencing God in an amazing way.
I wonder how many of you are excited to be going but also really nervous about the whole thing. Feeling a little hesitant about being in a room with 500 other women, wondering what to wear, wondering what to say, wondering what to write, wondering what you were thinking when you signed up for the leadership sessions, etc.
Well, you are not alone. Just this morning I woke up with a cloud of DOUBT hovering over me about my messages for She Speaks. I have three weeks to finish two brand new messages. With all we've had going on with our move and everything that happened in between, I feel behind and a little overwhelmed. Oh, and guess what my Saturday night message is on? DOUBT, of course!
I even thought about calling the office and changing my message to something I've done before but it's too late, the notebooks are at the printer and my outline is in it! Then I got an idea, I can get my friends to help me. That is where you come in...
Whether you are coming to She Speaks or not, I'd love to hear about your doubts - what area do you most often doubt yourself? I'd love to know if you have specific doubts about being a speaker, writer, woman in ministry, etc. What are the words of doubt that whisper in your ear? Do they make you retreat? What do you think causes them and what have you found to be a cure for them? Please click on comments below or send me an email with your thoughts. I really value your perspective.
Isn't it amazing how the things we struggle become the very things God calls us to share about. It's His power perfected in our weaknesses that draws others deep into His abiding love. So, whatever you are feeling today - joy, hope, doubt or fear - I'd love to hear about it. And my prayer is that together we'll press into Jesus, asking Him to speak to us through it, as we become vessels of Grace and Truth equipped by Him to speak about it!
I wonder how many of you are excited to be going but also really nervous about the whole thing. Feeling a little hesitant about being in a room with 500 other women, wondering what to wear, wondering what to say, wondering what to write, wondering what you were thinking when you signed up for the leadership sessions, etc.
Well, you are not alone. Just this morning I woke up with a cloud of DOUBT hovering over me about my messages for She Speaks. I have three weeks to finish two brand new messages. With all we've had going on with our move and everything that happened in between, I feel behind and a little overwhelmed. Oh, and guess what my Saturday night message is on? DOUBT, of course!
I even thought about calling the office and changing my message to something I've done before but it's too late, the notebooks are at the printer and my outline is in it! Then I got an idea, I can get my friends to help me. That is where you come in...
Whether you are coming to She Speaks or not, I'd love to hear about your doubts - what area do you most often doubt yourself? I'd love to know if you have specific doubts about being a speaker, writer, woman in ministry, etc. What are the words of doubt that whisper in your ear? Do they make you retreat? What do you think causes them and what have you found to be a cure for them? Please click on comments below or send me an email with your thoughts. I really value your perspective.
Isn't it amazing how the things we struggle become the very things God calls us to share about. It's His power perfected in our weaknesses that draws others deep into His abiding love. So, whatever you are feeling today - joy, hope, doubt or fear - I'd love to hear about it. And my prayer is that together we'll press into Jesus, asking Him to speak to us through it, as we become vessels of Grace and Truth equipped by Him to speak about it!
27 Comments:
Wow! Your post today hit the nail on the head about how I'm feeling - excited to be attending She Speaks, but very nervous. Some of the things that pop into my head are "I'm traveling alone to a city I've never visited before," and "I wonder who my roommate will be. Will she like me?" But I know God led me to this conference, so here I go!
Thanks for sharing your thoughts today. It always helps to know others feel the same way you do.
This post is what I needed to hear today!! God has called me to minister to hurting woman. I was a hurting woman for about 20 years. After 20 years of abuse from my husband and about 20 years of addiction, I'm now helping hurting women in a battered women's shelter. I love it. These women encourage me, challenge me, and give me strength to go on.
Recently, I went through some difficult times with my kids. I don't think I've ever experienced such deep hurt. Well, I turned to what I've always done in the past....alcohol. By the way, I'm new in recovery(I had a little over a year). I "fell off the wagon" for a week. It was horrible.
Now about the doubt....I have doubted whether God actually called me to help women. How can I help them when I can't even help myself? "I'll never quit drinking." "This is my lot in life." On and on Satan goes making me doubt. I wanted to quit my education, quit my job. Just do what I do best, get drunk!!
It's all a lie from the pit of hell. When I made the decision to quit the drinking, AGAIN, I decided that I wasn't going to believe the lies of Satan. I would believe God. I remembered how He's been so faithful to me over the last 2 and half years since I left my husband. He's seen me through such scary times. He's delivered me from addiction(even though I had a slip). I'm not in bondage today.
I just made the decision to put aside the doubts and trust in my God. By the way, God has allowed me to minister to 2 alcoholics this week. Just a reminder that He has called me and finish what He's started in my life. I WILL LET HIM.
Thanks for all you do. You're a blessing to me!!
Love in Christ,
Kim, Tifton Ga
Hi Renee..
So glad I checked in on your blog today..as I have been struggling for 2 days with doubt. I tend to second guess myself alot. I think a lot of that comes from just growing up with low self esteem and feeling like I have to have approval for every move I make..and I still deal with this some..and I am 31!
We are in the process of applying our daughter to a Christian school. Today is the day of the interview. We have kept this low key for 3 months. Have not told our families (mine in particular) because of their beliefs, worries, whatever you want to call it. Well this week I told them. The conversation did not go well. The concern was the money and how we were going to do this and the state of the economy. I defended my faith saying that we didn't know if this is what God has planned for us yet, but we were just going through the process. I explained that we had a great deal of faith and that if God wants us in this school (she is in public now) that He will provide the tuition. Afterwards...and until this morning really, I have just felt like crud. I finally realized this morning that it was because I had doubts myself. That I defended my faith, but yet was I so sure of all of that. I am the type that wants God to throw down a sign to me so vividly that I jusst KNOW what the answer is. My husband and I don't have a peace about this yet. but yet we aren't so uneasy about it either. Which does make it hard on us..kinda hanging in limbo.
So today we go for the family interview and Saturday she is tested at the school. I don't know what will happen, but I know God does. My prayer is that we are obedient and can really discern what He is telling us.
I am not coming to She Speaks, but I wanted to share my doubts too.
Blessings~
Alyce
I sum doubt up as one thing and one thing only Renee...satan's greatest weapon. Why? Because we all have weaknesses. We all, at one time or another, wonder if we are worthy to be used by God to help other people, to speak words of encouragement, to share God's word. And when we falter, which we always do because we are human, we wonder even more, and seeds of doubt begin to grow. And why do we wonder? Because we aren't worthy on our own merit. God makes us worthy through His gift of love, forgiveness, and strength.
But Satan looks for a kink in he armor, a weakness, a seed of doubt, then he whispers lies to us to make that doubt become overwhelming. Why? To stop us from making an impact for Christ.
When I was starting a care ministry at my church I was constantly plagued by doubt. What was I doing? Why did I think I could do this? Who did I think I was? I had no right. I didn't know enough. And the answer I finally came to was I was right, I didn't have any right, I didn't know enough, I couldn't do this on my own. But I knew someone who could. And that someone put the desire in my heart. He would see me through, give me the strength, and the words, and the wear-with-all to start the minisry. Because I was doing it for Him.
The way I overcame doubt was by continually laying it at the foot of the cross. I have actually cried out loud for God to help me not focus on my doubt, but to focus on Him instead. Being aware right away when seeds of doubt begin to occupy our minds and consciously turning away from those thoughts is crucial.
We can't, but God can. And doubt may be satan's greatest weapon, but God is mine. And God is much more powerful than satan!
You go and tell everyone what God has put on your heart Renee! God is using you. And He is the one who makes us all worthy.
Sorry for the length of this! I got carried away. : ) Connie
I doubt my abilities all the time. I doubt that I am in the right place. I doubt that I am doing the right thing. I doubt that I am doing all that I need to be doing. But then I remember....Jesus would have died for me even if I was the only one. Whether you prepare to change the lives of 1 or 21 my job in this life is to make an eternal difference for ever single person I come into contact with. Thankfully when I fail I know Grace is enouph.
Renee,
I am not coming to She Speaks this year. My heart is heavy knowing that I can't come this year. I really wanted to and was praying for a miracle since we can't afford it this year, but nothing has come through. It's hard accepting "no" sometimes, isn't it?
My biggest doubt that I struggle with is my calling to be a writer. I have written stories and poems ever since I was a little girl. Last year I was so excited to attend She Speaks for the very first time. I was so excited and extremely nervous. I even brought a book proposal along and went through two interviews. Talk about stepping out on faith. The first interview went well, but they weren't interested. The second one I went in feeling a little more calm. I was shocked when they said that they wanted to take my book proposal along back to look at. Well, it has been almost a year and I have never heard anything back from them, despite emails and letters that I have sent.
I have tried various other writings this past year - some devotionals, articles, poetry contest, etc. There hasn't been a single one that I have heard back from. One was even an article that a magazine ask me to write. So I have struggled big time with doubt. Has God really called me to write? Will I ever amount to anything as a writer? Will I ever see my name in print? Will I ever touch more than just a handful of people with my blog? Don't get me wrong, I don't desire grandeur. I guess I'm just looking for some sign or verification that God has called me to write and that it is not just me.
We were just away for several days visiting family. My husband and I got a few moments away to go for a walk. While we were there I just poured some of these things out to him. They have been on my heart for quite sometime. I often see all the areas where I fall short. It probably didn't help that I was feeling hormonal at the time. But doubt is something that I do struggle with. I don't know that I have the answer either...
Don't know that I was much help for you Renee. You have been in my thoughts and prayers as you have transitioned this month.
Blessings,
Pearls
Dear Friend,
Man, wow, doubt has been knocking on my door since I got hom from prison. With the conference around the corner and the calling on my heals it seems like satan wants to take me out even more. Today I feel like running to the familiar but I will not because I know I would die there. Thank you for keeping it real. I can't wait to see everyone. She Speaks Rocks!!!!!!
Here's my thing (at least one of them...).
Coming to a conference like this can be a powerful tool to equip and unite women toward a common good. But for so many of us who feel ill-equipped, it can be daunting.
All the P31 speakers seem polished and well-prepared. It's hard not to cast ourselves within the shadow of such seeming perfection. I've spent my entire life not thinking I measured up to others. (I get that we all have our insecurities, but I'm just saying this is MY thing.)
I know that I'm gifted for the task that God has called me to, but whenever I attend something like this, the danger for me is leaving feeling way too underqualified and less special.
It's important to me for people to be real and authentic toward me. I want to do the same with others. Rather than feeling overwhelmed at the end, I want to walk away feeling affirmed. I don't want to worry about if I'm dressed correctly (this is a big one for me and quite frankly, I think too over emphasized).
OK...you asked. I say all of this with love and respect for the program and can't wait to see how God moves.
I just know and am aware of the triggers that Satan uses to cast doubt over me. I'm on to him, and so I'm confessing aloud to you my concerns (to countless of other readers as well) because being real is what I'm all about.
And Renee...you are a well-qualified and gifted speaker. Use whatever God is teaching you right now. Just put is all out there from a pure and genuine place, and God is sure to move!
peace~elaine
Hiya Renee,
My biggest doubt is "Can I really do this?" Or should I just go get a real job? You know I'm trying to do ministry full time, stay home with my kids, etc... It all just seems so impossible sometimes, when that doubt creeps in.
Oh by the way, I'll be at She Speaks in 3 weeks ;)
Hey girl! Boy, do you tackle all the giants in life at one time, or what? You know that I am over-the-moon excited to be coming to She Speaks this year!
As far as your topic on doubt...
... right now the biggest area of doubt that satan seems to want to keep me tangled up in is: my ability to parent my son in such a way as to allow him to see Jesus in my life. Being that he is a very opinionated 3-year-old we are having some discipline issues right now. I am using your "Gold Mining" techniques tied in with a behavior/chore chart; and that seems to be helping. But, given the fact that I struggle with feelings of having let my first son down when his dad and I divorced, I now worry that I am not the mother I need to be for this precious little one that I am trying to raise.
I do know that God is faithful and He knows my struggles and hears my prayers. But, boy how the doubt can creep in.
I'm praying for you. I know that God will provide you with the inspiration and words to bring to both of your topics.
See ya there!
Renee,
You are very talented...and from your writings, you are very God-centered. Just give the She Speaks attendees what God lays on your heart...outline followed or not! I don't think anyone will disagree that when God moves, we need to step back and allow Him right of way! :)
I won't be at She Speaks this year. It just wasn't possible. But I'm hopeful for next year!
The devil and my flesh are constant sources of doubt in my life. It's like they are there with a steady supply of doubt to make my vision cloudy and murky. What I have found to help me is repeating the truth of God's Word...out loud. If you speak what I know, the doubts will subside. Truth/Light always wins over doubt/darkness! Some would say that this is positive speaking, and it is to some degree. But on a deeper level it is me reaffirming God's Truth in my life, therefore, reaffirming His calling to mine.
As a side note, I agree with Elaine about the over emphasis on what to wear to the conference. I live on the coast, and to me, khakis, capris or even jeans is what I'm most comfortable in. (And Shari has mentioned in her blog posts that you can dress these items up!) Spending all day in a conference in dress clothes would be uncomfortable to say the least. But that's me. I'm not saying I would look like a bum by any stretch, but that would be my dressy casual. I guess my whole point in talking about the dress code is to say that there are many more things to think about before, during and after the conference than what you did/didn't/couldn't afford to wear. And I'm sure the devil is having a field day planting seeds of doubt in many of the 500 women (plus the speakers) on this very topic....
Enough about that! I'm glad to see you have returned to bloggy land. I have missed you! You are so tender hearted, gracious and kind. And I love to read what's on your mind. You encourage me a great deal. And I've missed that!
I will be lifting you up over the next few weeks as you prepare for She Speaks.
Prayers and Blessings!
Rebecca
You must be reading my mind today as well. Doubt about whether I heard God right when I thought He called me to write ... Doubt that I should be going to She Speaks -- am I spending money wisely? Why am I going? What am I going to do or to get out of it? What does God want to show me there if He really wants me to go? Did I hear Him right about attending or is it my wishful thinking? Am I going to look and/or sound like an idiot to the women I meet?
Oh, I could go on. I'm looking forward to your message now -- although I wish it was early Friday :D
Oh my goodness Renee...most days my pile of doubts and fears far out-number my list of certainties. If I was to live my life based on my doubts and fears I would NEVER come out of this house!
You already know much of what I am facing - the unknown is scary. Mix that up with insecurity, the lure of comparison, feeling like you can't measure up, inadequacies etc...feelings and emotions can take you down a pretty lonely path filled with anxiety.
HOWEVER....as long as just ONE THING remains on my certainty list, I'm going to be OK. My One Certainty is Christ. I counteract every fear/doubt etc...with a scripture verse and I must keep believing that His Word is true, His promises sure, that His love surrounds me, His power is within me, His presence is upholding me, and that NOTHING truly is impossible with God. Without God as my One Certainty, I'd be surrendering my plane ticket in a second. It is because I know God has called that I am following. Following in fear...but following.
Praying that the Lord will give you His message to share with us all.
Can't wait to meet you!!!!!
Love & prayers,
Joy
I had an experience where God has unexpectedly directed me toward writing. He has opened the door for me to attend this conference(Praise the Lord)! I have felt His presence through this journey, so far, and yet if I allow myself to fast forward to after the conference the doubt sets in. I begin to have fears that I won't know what to do next in my writers path.
But God.... He always lovingly reminds me that He will finish the good work He started so I don't need to worry about tomorrow because today has enough trouble on it's own!
Looking forward to meeting you at the conference!
This is so timely as I've been filled with fear lately about She Speaks:
1) Will anyone like me? Will I be so different in person than in blogland that people will be like, "Who is she and what is her deal? She is nothing like I expected?"
2) Will I get it all done in time?
3) I hate traveling. How will the planes and things go?
4) What if I am having a conversation and can't think of anything to say? I can be such an introvert at times . . . . My ability to just chat has grown since working at the bookstore, but . . . .
5) Who is going to look after my cats? (Okay, that is alittle one -- unless you are one of them and want to get fed -- but it is a detail I haven't sorted yet!)
I'm feeling nervous and excited but sometimes at the moment the nervousness is over riding the excitement...
I am so glad I followed God's nudging to blog about my doubts this morning and ask about yours. I had a choice to make - log on and blog OR take a shower before heading to the doctor with Andrew. Guess what? I went to the doctor's office looking pretty scraggly but it was worth it.
Your notes, insights, thoughts, shared struggles and how you have overcome them at times has been a light of SONshine in my cloudy day. God knew I needed to hear from you - the very ones I'll be speaking to at She Speaks and the ones I get to share with on my blog. When I read your comments after I got back from the Dr's office, my eyes teared up a little. Your comments have been God's confirmation that I am supposed to do this message and that what I have as my key points are in fact the common doubts and common causes of them. I also love seeing that when we share them and bring them into the Light, He unites our hearts with encouragement and dispells the power doubt has to discourage us.
Oh, I pray that reading these comments has encouraged you as much as you have encouraged me. If you haven't posted yet...please do!!!
I will not be going to the She Speaks conference. I have two young children and I feel in the next few years that God may lead me in a ministry/writing/speaking direction. The doubts that plague my mind are: Am I a good mother and wife? I compare myself to other women who are thinner, more stylish, and seem to have it all together? I want to see myself and others as God does! Thanks for asking. JD
Hi Renee...I'm so excited to meet you at the conference! I really appreciate your heart!
Yes, I struggle with doubt. Especially with how God is leading me as far as speaking goes. I've had a few opportunities and have just LOVED them. I love to connect with other women and be able to laugh and cry together. But, I wonder...is God really calling me to this or is it pride? (because I do like to get affirmation and attention too) :)
I've been praying for all involved in the conference and for how God will work through it! I can't wait to see how He shows up! :)
Two weeks ago today, I received one of the most wonderful offers of my life- to marry the man of my dreams. Of course I was so excited I just giggled with excitement for a good two days. Since then, I have just been doubting God's plans for this. He has clearly orchestrated our relationship and our upcoming marraige, but have doubted His good plan for me. I have doubted His goodness in my life.
I'm not going to She Speaks this year (I was there last year) :( but I am going to a writer's conference. So, I'm right smack in the middle of a bunch of doubts.
1 - I don't measure up to all these people around me
2 - I don't have anything worthwhile to say
3 - Did God really call me to do this or did I fabricate this dream on my own?
4 - I know I'm a nerd, but will everyone else notice that too? :)
5 - Will it be difficult to make friends with people there? Are they all going to know each other already...
That's a good start at least. Wish I could be there to hear you speak again! You'll do AWESOME!
Hey Renee!
Unfortunately, I will not be attending the conference this year, maybe next year. I recently wrestled with the doubt of whether or not I would be a good public speaker. Some of my "girls" from my youth group asked me to be the commencement speaker at their graduation. I was honored and terrified at the same time! Speaking in front of a bunch of teenage girls is okay for me, but in front of other people, my age and older was extremely intimidating! God gave me an awesome message for these young ladies, but I still wrestled with the doubt of actually being able to deliver it. I have silently, for the most part battled anxiety attacks for nearly 5 years, and my biggest fear was getting up there in front of everyone and battling one. I had to trust God and take a huge step of faith. I quoted every scripture I could think of that dealt with fear and doubt, and had some close friends and family be praying(some that knew of my struggles and some who didn't). By the grace of God, I got through it, and God's heart was revealed to His precious daughters. Even though my heart pounded throughout the whole speech, and my mouth was so dry I felt like I could not move my lips over my teeth,( very strange I know )people in the audience commented on how calm and comfortable I appeared the whole time. It was God, not me!
After I sat down I waited for relief and the "I did it" feeling to come, but instead I clearly "heard" God speak to my heart "Don't get too comfortable" I found out what He meant when I was asked to speak at another graduation 1 week and a half later. I still battled with the doubts, but once again God came through as I stepped out and did what He asked me to do. That was last night, and I still feel like God is telling me that this is not over. I know that whatever He is calling me to do, He will equip me to do. I just wish I didn't battle the fear and doubt beforehand.
Okay I know this is really long, but very quickly, I am now having doubts about raising my children. From infancy to up to age 4 I was fairly confident in my child rearing. But now that they are older, I wonder if I am really cut out for this. Of course some days are better than others and I feel like "Okay I CAN do this" But they seem to be growing up so fast. I want to do my best and I want the best for them. I have to keep remembering that God gave me my children, and He has equipped my husband and I to raise them. Sorry this is so long! God Bless, April
Renee,
I was surprised when I read your post today! I guess I just figured that you are so polished and used to speaking that you would never have any doubts....I have them all the time myself. It's good to share your feelings with people and let them see that we're basically all just alike in our inner core.
I'm not gonna be one of the girls at "She Speaks" although I'm sure I would love to be! I'm hoping some of the ladies will give us non-attendees some testimonies on their blog when they get home after it's over.
Some of my doubts come when....I have studied and done my best presenting a Sunday school lesson and when it's done I have this sinking feeling and the thought runs through my head..."Did ANYTHING I just said make any sense???" Or....when I am talking to a young lady at the crisis pregnancy center and witnessing to her about the saving grace of God...then sometimes I doubt that I can explain salvation throughly and she might be led astray. I doubt that I am able to have much influence on anyone. BUT...beware because a lot of the time it's just the devil trying to make you give up serving God!
A few weeks ago within the span of 2 or 3 days my husband and I had something very interesting happen. First a thirty-ish age man stopped my husband while at the flea market and told him that he just wanted to thank my husband and me for taking time with him while he was a teenager when we attended the same church. My husbby would go and take him squirrel hunting, etc. because he didn't have a Daddy. He said, "I think that helped keep me on the right path and keep me from making some wrong decisions later in my life." We were dumbfounded because we never really did anything out of the ordinary for this kid (then a kid) except try to show him some Christian love.
Then the next day or two a young woman...also in her mid-thirties....came up to me in Taco Bell and said..."You're Marilyn aren't you? I want you to meet my family!" She had a handsome hubby and two cute kids with her. She told her husband and kids that my husband and I led our youth group at church when she was a teenager. She told us that she would never forget what a great influence we had in her Christian life. She named off a lot of the activities we had done during that time....things that I had totally forgotten about until she mentioned them.
I know I have been long-winded but I said all that just to say this: You may feel like what you are doing is small....but if you are doing it for the Lord, He will turn it into a big thing! You may not ever even know just how big! He may not want you to be a published writer....but he may use your blogs to reach someone who would never pick up a book or a magazine. He may not choose you to be a nationally or even locally known public speaker.....but He may ask you to speak to your neighbor about Him. No matter how small or how big....it's obedience that He wants. Never doubt THAT!
God bless you Renee.....and all you other ladies who will be going to She Speaks. I'll be thinking of you!
Marilyn
My doubts seem to be about whatever area God is using at the moment. Years ago when I'd secured my first book contract (which should have been evidence that someone thought I could write a book) the last thing I heard before I drifted off to sleep and my first thought in the morning was "You can't write a book. You can't write a book." Once that book was done, that voice never returned.
Later, when I was receiving speaking invitations I had one complete breakdown where the message I thought I was going to give really wasn't right, but God hadn't given me anything else either. Finally, at 12:30 am, less than 12 hours before I was scheduled to speak, God gave me an entirely new message. I was a little freaked out that I wouldn't be well-prepared.
The next morning it was clear just how perfectly he had orchestrated everything, from the music selections to the opening comments and finally my talk. I didn't know it when I walked out the door with a "This is the last time I'm ever doing this!" comment to my husband, but that was one of the most blessed events I've had the privilege to attend.
I won't be attending She Speaks (it's on the wrong side of the country for me!), but I will pray that you'll know his blessing and provision in the same way I did on that occasion.
(And of course, my current area of doubt has to do with raising my boys and supporting my husband. While doubts can keep us dependent on the Lord, if our focus isn't right they can certainly immobilize us and make us completely ineffective!)
Hey Sweet Friend,
Oh how I am going to miss you at She Speaks this year. But, I do know you have no reason to doubt, I will be praying for you from home and you always do a great job! You need to read what Beth Moore posted on her blog on Sunday, June 1st. Basically, it boils down to this, "When you worry its like waving a red flag to the enemy saying that you do not have faith." She says much more on this, but what is doubt besides worrying that you aren't good enough, you can' do the job, etc. She also talks about CONTROL and whew was that for me! Read it when you get a second.
And remember I will be praying for you.
Hugs,
Margaret
Thank you, Renee and bloggy friends. I share the same doubts as most of you. I just need to focus on the One that called me to She Speaks and anticipate with excitement what He wants to accomplish in me while there! I want to be just as I am, transparent and all ears. See you there!
Sara Powell
spow56@aol.com
Hi Renee. I will be attending She Speaks this year. I attended the speakers track in '05. This year I will be with Shari Braendel on the image ministry track.
Doubts? Oh, most definitely! Fear? You betcha!
Since attending in '05, I can't really say that a speaking ministry has come together, but then, that would be in my vision of how things should look. That does not mean they are not panning out exactly the way God intended for them to, though.
Three years ago, I attended Shari's session as a guest speaker and now she is a member of the P31 team! She has become a friend of mine.
And, if I am honest, God is showing me steps that I need to take to progress along the path on which I believe He has set me. It's those nasty fears and doubts that haunt me almost daily that are probably causing me to not be further along than I am.
Rather than posting it all here, it would be easier to give you the link where I posted about my experience at She Speaks last time and what has happened since then.
http://godzgalzimageconsulting.blogspot.com/2007/11/thankfulness-part-deux.html
I have given my testimony countless times, so I'm feeling pretty okay about Friday night, but Saturday...I have no idea what I'm going to talk about. Although, last time I went, God didn't give me the scripture passage and topic until the Monday before I was scheduled to leave on Friday.
To be honest, it didn't really go as well as I had hoped, but even then, God knew exactly what He was doing. One of the women in my group came looking for me as soon as she had the opportunity to speak with me. She said that something I had talked about had struck her to the core because it was something with which she was struggling at that very time. Not only that, her sister was there with her, and she was struggling with the same thing!
Praise the Lord! I may not have thought the talk went very well, and honestly, my speaker review was only average, but I was encouraged that day because He had a message for those women, and He used me to deliver it. I couldn't have been more humbled or blessed!
I think I have been rambling, but I hope you can make some sense of what I have said.
I appreciate this post because I have been dwelling on the fact that I have no idea what I am going to talk about. I've also been thinking for the past two months that I should have canceled my registration. This was a great reminder that I am not alone, and it also helped me to remember how God can use us even when we don't think we have done a very good job.
I can't wait to meet you in person at She Speaks! See you then!
Blessings,
Dawn
Wow, Renee. So glad you listened to the Holy Spirit's prompting to write this post.
I was just telling my husband the other day that I wished I hadn't signed up for She Speaks because I don't have anything to wear. :) I hate dressing up, and it was stressing me out.
I always forget that I'm not alone in my doubts. Thanks for the reminder.
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