Today was a very, very sad day. Beyond description. One of my best friends for almost 14-years - my sweet and precious daschund - Chelsea, died this afternoon. She was sick when we got home Sat night after I'd been speaking in TN. She seemed okay yesterday but got much worse this afternoon. By the time I got her to the vet she was gasping for her last breath. At first the Vet thought it was some kind of food poisoning or something because he couldn't figure out what was wrong. But after she died and we talked more about changes we've seen over the past few months with her vision and hearing, the Vet thinks she may have had a brain tumor that we didn't know about. Over the past two days it seems as though her brain, lungs and heart just started to shut down. It was the saddest thing I've ever been through.
She was my constant companion. My shadow and friend. She followed me everywhere when I was at home and even traveled with me in the car when the weather permitted. She sat by my side when I read my Bible in my favorite chair, layed under my feet when I sat at my computer desk, cuddled up close to my side when I sat on the couch to watch tv, write radio shows, blog, etc. For the past few weeks though, she spent most of her time in her doggy bed. I'd have to go get her to come sit with me.
I have sobbed all afternoon. I know I'll be okay, but I miss her deeply and don't know what my days will be like without her. I am so sad. My heart is heavy and I wish this hadn't happened now during a time when I want to be happy and focused.
I know God's timing is perfect and I know her death today is probably God's protection from us losing her in our new home. This was her home for most of her life. I had been recently thinking about how stressful our move would be for Chelsea, since she was getting so old and doesn't like change. I am telling myself all of this to help me let go. It's not easy but focusing on what is true and on God's faithfulness brings moments of comfort in the midst of my deep sadness and grief.