Uniquely You!

Have you ever wondered why you are the way you are or why you do things the way you do? I remember all the way back to Jr. High feeling like I didn't really like who I was. I'd compare myself to those around me and try to figure out who people liked most, so I could be like them. It was exhausting!

I want to to talk a little more today about something I shared in my devotion, "The Real Me" featured at Proverbs 31 and Crosswalk. The journey God's taken me on to become the woman He created me to be has totally changed my life, and all of my relationships, for the better. I hope I can encourage you today with somethings I've learned.

First of all, comparison can be my worst enemy. My friend Genia summed it up well one day when we were talking about it. She said, “When we compare ourselves with someone else, we can never measure up because we compare our insides with their outsides.”

She's right. I usually compare how I feel on the inside with how someone else looks like they have it all together on the outside. Paul talks about the comparison trap in 2 Corinthians 10:12, “but when they measure themselves and compare themselves with themselves, they are without understanding.”

Comparison leaves us confused and discontent. It causes us to compete with each other but God never intended for women to compete with each other; He wants us to complete one another. Seriously, He wants us to encourage each others' strengths and then be who He created us to be.

Paul explains why in 1 Corinthians 12:18-20, “But now God has placed the parts, each one of them in the body just as He wanted. And if they were all the same part, where would the body be? Now there are many parts, yet one body.”

The truth is: You are uniquely you because God has a unique purpose for your life. God created you with a unique personality because you play an important role in the story He’s writing in your life. You are "God’s masterpiece...created anew in Christ so that [you] can do the good things He planned for [you] long ago.” Ephesians 2:10, (NLT)

There are certain thing He wants to do through your life and that is why He gave you a personality that is one-of-a-kind! In her book, Personality Plus, Florence Littauer describes four personality types. Most of us are a blend of two. See if you can relate to the desires and emotional needs of one or two of these:

Phlegmatic: Desires PEACE
Needs times of quiet, reduced stress, feeling of worth, relaxation

Choleric: Desires CONTROL
Needs appreciation for achievements, opportunity for leadership, and participation in decisions

Sanguine: Desires FUN
Needs attention, affection, approval, activity with people

Melancholy: Desire PERFECTION
Needs sensitivity, stability, support, space, silence

  • Which personality best describes you?
  • What are your greatest strengths? What are things you think you need to work on?
  • What challenges do you face in discovering your unique "you"?

Click on the word "Comments" below to share thoughts or questions. If you don't have a blog, click on anonymous, then leave your name and email to be part of a drawing I'll do this weekend to give away a copy of "Shaped with Purpose : A Practical Guide for Discovering Who You Are" Workbook and CD.

Each comment will be entered for the give-away so be sure to include your email in your comment, and I'd love to know your age and where you're from.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

This devotion ties in to the book I am reading called "Captivating" At 46 years, I am still searching for what God has planned for me. I have had a long career, I married later in life and have two beautiful boys that are 5 and 10. There are times when I wish I was a tad younger so I could have more time to develop this plan. At present, I am a stay at home mom after leaving a job last August. For such a long time I have felt that having "this job" defined me. I thought I was super woman until I started staying home with my boys and realized what all I had been missing out on.

I pray today that God leads me in the path that he wants me to go on. I am a people pleaser and tend to do what will help others instead of what I want.
This website was sent to me by a friend and has given me the resource to stay on track daily. (before the work of being a mom sets in) I am glad God lead you in the direction to minister to us.

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wow, I can relate to this topic so well. I am 49 and still searching for who I am and why am I here. I am lost and looking for my passion.

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thank you so much for this devotion today. I pray that I will look at the way that God has made me for who I am. I do know that He has made each one of unique. Sometimes I forget about that and I guess allow my job and people define who I am. Thank-you for reminding me who I need to be more like, which is Christ. I have been so blessed by your website. Have a blessed day!

Blogger Suzanne said...

Oh my goodness. You just described how I have felt to a T. I am 44 and been around the mountain so many times trying to find myself and thought I was the only one feeling this way. Thank you so much for this devotion this morning. This gives me hope that it is not too late to find out who God made me to be and that I am actually created for a purpose..

Blogger sizrhpy70 said...

Thank you for this devotional today. I needed that reminder. In your Proverbs 31 devotional you mention that there were some books you read that helped you. Could you mention them? Thanks!

Blogger amy said...

I have often felt that I don't know who I am or what my purpose is on this Earth. Thank you for posting this devotional and post today! It has given me much to think about!! iactup2@hotmail.com

Blogger All About Me said...

It's funny how God puts things in your life that you SO need to hear. Thank you for sharing. I jumped over here from my email devotion.

Blogger Robin said...

Like the other posts, I have been trying to figure out God's purpose for me. My mom died when I was 7 (I am now 43) and so many times I still feel like that lost little girl who just lost her mom. I have no idea of my spiritual gifts. I too would love to know the titles of the books you mentioned. Thanks for all you do to minister to others.

Blogger Janie M. said...

Nice devotion Renee. I'm definitely going to pray on this a little harder. I get so caught up in my mommy-mode and doing what I think my family needs, that I guess I forget to ask God to lead me. I compare myself a lot to other women and am really going to try to focus more simply on God. Thanks for the big reminder.

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Still stumbling around but trusting that God works in His own time frame! Maybe this is the way He'll show me what the way is to be!



tammons at triad dot rr dot com

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I feel like I am at least 3 of the different personalities! Maybe that's my problem:) Thanks for sharing....I have some work to do.


Blogger Sortin'ItAllOut said...

Thank-you so much for your devotional on Crosswalk today and for your blog! When I read the devotional I clicked right over to your blog.

I am 33 years old and am always comparing myself to others. Not in the sense that I want to be like them exactly, but I look at others and think how mature and organized and confident they are. And next to them I feel like a little child who has a lot of growing up to do!

Thank-you for the blog, and thank-you for the contest! My email is queenblogforhim@gmail.com

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Another nudge from God from your devotion! Thanks for obeying Him. Melissa Reynolds

Blogger Michellee said...

WOW!! You always hit it right on the head when I'm really strugling with something. I've been really praying for the last 2 years what God's will for my life, which direction to go in There is so many things I enjoy doing, but figuring out my true passion. It changes from day to day. I am wishy washy I reckon. But this is so good to me. Thanks Renee...

Blogger Renee Swope said...

Thanks for sharing your age - I love knowing that so we can see where each of us is in life. I'm 42.

The books I read that helped me were: Personality Plus and The Sacred Romance book and workbook.

I think the first step is finding out we're not the only one who struggles with this. That is huge and freeing. The next step is taking time to discover and learn to love who we really are meant to me - in Christ - and in our uniqueness. This is a journey but so worth taking as we seek to become the woman God created us to be.

Thanks for sharing your hearts and stories. I am reading each comment and praying for each one of you today.

Sweet blessings,

Anonymous Anonymous said...

This devotion resonated with me. . . and many other ladies as well it seems! It is somewhat comforting to know I am not the only one still searching for what I want to be when I grow up. . . I sincerely want to know God's desire for me to know and execute my purpose for His glory and honor.

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wow, just when you think your the only one who feels this way. I am going on 48, Stay at home mom who home schools 2 boys, who still is looking to fit in.

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thank you for this devotional Renee. God is amazing because this is exactly where I am at right now...trying to figure out who I am and what the Lord has uniquely designed me to do. Tonya at lyan1961@yahoo.com

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am 49 and reading the devotion this morning only confirmed that I do not know who I am or God's purpose for my life. I felt the Holy Spirit insist that I purchase the Shaped With Purpose Handbook & CD. I truly enjoyed the devotion and am thankful for your sharing those thoughts with us. God bless you!

Blogger Hutan said...


Thank you very much for your encouragement. I want to know who I am .

God Bless you!

Petronela (Romania)

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Today's devotional really hit home with me as well--I've been a people pleaser for years and constantly compare myself to those around me--and yes, it can be exhausting! Recently, I had the opportunity to take a "Discovering your spiritual gifts" class at my church, and it was life changing! My primary gift is the gift of faith--knowing this has not only helped me put the various pieces of my life together (past and present), but enables me to have more direction with the Lord for my future! Thanks for the insight and encouragement Renee!

Melinda McCullah, 34

Anonymous Mary Lynn said...

I have been trying to understand and have peace about what I am suppose to be doing now in my life. Thanks for the thoughts today and the scripture to ponder.

Anonymous Cathrine said...

Timing is everythng! I have really been struggling with this for the last 6-8 months. I can see pieces of myself if almost all the comments. I have 3 daughters (9 and 6 yo twins). I left a fairly high level job as a Chemical engineer when the twins were born because I did not want the lifestyle I saw my peers having. Now that I have time to breathe - I'm praying and trying to figure out what I should be doing. So far, not much response..... I'm 43 and feel like if I don't figure it out soon, it will be too late.

Anonymous Anonymous said...

It looks like there are many of us who relate to your devotion today. I too hopped over here after reading your devotion this morning. Thank you for sharing your heart with us in such an open and honest way.

Anonymous Heidi said...

Thanks for the devotion today. WOW!!this one really spoke to me.I am 44 years old and still struggle with doing for others and not enough for me. I plan on reading the book "Personality Plus". Thanks again. I have dreams on what I would like to use creative talents God has given me but don't know how to put them in place. I will be praying more for God to show me the direction He has planned for me.

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I would love to be put in the drawing for the book. frankheidi@bellsouth.net

Blogger Leah Gillen said...

Wonderful post Renee! I can actually see myself somewhere in each of the personality types, but I probably lean more towards the Phlegmatic type, as my life has mostly been anything but peaceful.

At the age of 37, I long to be living out God's plans and purposes for me. Still figuring that out, but as He draws me closer to Him, He also reveals more of that purpose to me.

I was "that girl" that used to always compare myself to others. I'd like to say that part of me is gone, but I know that's not entirely true. However, I am more content with who I am than I ever have been in my entire life - all praise goes to God for that!

Anonymous Betsy said...

I am getting to the point in my life where I need to find the next path...my children are moving on to school. My purpose so far has been mommy. So, I am asking God what next. Thanks for the thoughts today!

I am 34 and from Michigan.

Anonymous Betsy said...

Oops...my email is tiedema2@msu.edu

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Men can feel this too!
We have so much responsibility
but we can question and ponder on what is my real purpose just like the ladies. It is a human thing especially at the 40's. Being in a career that really gives peace and a feeling of accomplishment is a human need.

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thank you so much for this devotional. God is definately speaking to me this morning. I am 37 years old, a mother, wife, and a special education teacher. Yet, I am not sure who I really am. I feel like I am so busy doing what I think I am suppose to be doing...and making sure everyone is happy, that I don't know who I am. This devotional has opened my eyes. I am going to spend time with God and find out what he desires of me and what His dreams are for my life here on earth.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart for this devotional.

God Bless,

Anonymous Anonymous said...

As a Women's Ministry Director it constantly amazes me how many women do not understand this concept. Once they do it is so exciting to watch lives transform and blossom.

Thank you for enlightening many women God always has a purpose for what He does; even 'custom designing' lives.

May God continue to use you in great ways for His kingdom work.

Blogger Jill said...

Renee, Great words! Obviously I'm not the only one who can relate! At 33 I've spent much of my life not knowing who I was (and more importantly the first 22 years not knowing who's I was), so instead tried to be someone else. Like you say that is frustrating, exhausting and bound to be a loss. I was constantly comparing myself and never felt I measured up or was as worthy as the person next to me, but over the last few years God has really been working. It's not about who others think we are or even who we see, but who God sees and designed us to be. For me it was and at times still is hard to accept this and put my mind around it, but the process has begun and I'm thankful. He has me doing things I never dreamed of, but it's obvious He did. That's only possible when I surrender and be the person He made me to be. Renee, thanks for being uniquely you and encouraging all of us to be the same.
Blessings from Iowa,

Your Crosswalk devotion and this blog post are just what I needed this morning. I continue to struggle with questions of Why Am I Here? What Am I Supposed to Be Doing?

I continue to wait and pray about it meanwhile doing nothing.

I am almost 40 and couldn't answer the question of what I would do if there were no limitations. I will be praying the prayer at the end of your devotion daily.

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I was just confronted with this very question, "What do I like to do? What are my interests?" a couple of days ago and I don't have an answer. It was comforting to read your devotion to know that Christian women feel this too. There are so many times where I feel "too bruised" to be apart of the women at church. Although I know it (Jesus came to save the brokenhearted and to free the prisoners) in my head, to believe it in my heart and allow the Lord to effectively use my life experiences has been a struggle. And as I am writing I am reminded that I not live but Christ lives in me, the hope of Glory.

I thank you for your willingness to share your lfe with so many. I pray that I may allow th3 Lord to to have His Way with me in my life. To do those things that please him and inturn please me.

God Bless
gina crouso

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I have never had a sense of "what I want to be when I grow up" either. I have just done what everyone else did when they were doing it. I am lucky in that my marriage is wonderful! I am a SAHM and I love it most of the time. I would love to find ways to be more fulfilled and a more joyful mother.

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Your post in P31 today spoke to my heart. I have 4 wonderful children and I have been at home with them for over 20 years. One married last month and my youngest is entering 7th grade and I wonder who I am. Over the last 2 years this has been my cry ~ to learn who I am in Christ. My identity in Him is all that matters and I think I battle being "someone" for me. I am the people pleaser and understand your post today so well. I have no dreams except getting through today. Pray for me that God will direct me to understand His purpose for me outside my home. Thank you.

Penny Whitley

Blogger kb said...

Hi! Thank you so much for this message. This week I turned 50 and I have had such a difficult time. I have had a long, successful (by everyone's else's definition), a Ph.D., have travelled extensively for my job and STILL feel unfulfilled. I have committed myself to studying how I may begin to feel fulfilled by trying to gather an understanding of what God wants for me. I have just had to "empty" myself of my previous beliefs and am trying to ask God to guide me. Most importantly, I am trying to learn how to listen to God's directions! This type of info and encouragement really helps me. I have just begun my christian journey having been baptized only last month and I am hungry and thirsty for more knowledge and more opportunity for God to teach me. Please keep up your good work. I pray that you and all women can find deep fulfillment and love for self and God's purpose.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

This is something I have always struggled with. I am 43 years old and have always had Jesus in my life. Even at this age and stage in my life I still struggle comparing myself with others and how if I could be just a little more like them. I need to pray that the Lord will help deliver me from that and that I will put that much focus on who He has created me to be!
Angela Ramsey

Anonymous Anonymous said...

At 43 I am where you were at 32, I don't know. I don't have some great desire to be an actor, doctor or walk on the moon. I kinda feel wife and mom is what I was ment to be.

Earlier this year, things changed in my life and I began a relationship with God. Although I have been saved since I was 16 years old, I never had a relationship with God. I felt that I had a hard heart. Emotions were hard for me to express and crying never happened under any circumstance. So I prayed for a softer more caring and compassionate heart. This is happening. God has placed things on my heart to do, and it is easy. Something as easy as to pray for someone or go spend time with someone in the hospital.

If money wasn't an issue, what would I do? I have thought about this lately. My hearts desire would be to give it away to organizations of great causes. Local rescue missions for men and women. Church members that have gone to other countries as missionaries. Christian organizations that help other people in so many ways.

Maybe Gods choice for me is to have a caring heart. I don't know and I am still learning.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thank you for your devotional. I loved the statement that when we compare ourselves to someone else, we compare our insides to their outsides. So true!
Michelle Pardue

Anonymous Anonymous said...

This devotion ties in to where I am in my life right now. Monday I have to go to court for my divorce, after 33 years of marriage. This past year has been a roller coaster ride with so many ups and downs I am not sure which way is up. I have been seeking God, looking for answers, guidance, etc. Through this he has sustained me and given me the strength to go on. I have been a career woman all my life, but my family always came first. I thought I knew myself, until this happened.

I am asked what am I going to do now, and I am not sure. I have been trying to keep busy, but I am finding that some of the things I used to do was because of him. I didn't realize how much of myself had been wrapped around his life, his wants, his desires and dreams. I was consumed by him and lost myself in the process.

So now I am trying to find out who I am. And right now I am not sure. I just know that God gives me strength to face each day, and I enjoy the time I am having with God. The devotions I receive have helped me get back in tune with God, drawing me closer to him.

Your article today made me realize I need to find out who I am, so I can fulfill God's plan for my life.

Looking back now I can see that God made provisions for me to prepare me for the things I am facing now. He is always in control.

But it is time to move forward and become the woman he wants me to be so I can fulfill the calling he has placed in my life.

I pray that God will guide me and direct me in the path he wishes me to follow. Thank you Lord for this devotion today. Bless Renee as she continues to encourage woman in discovering themselves.

Diana Madrid

Blogger Sandy said...

Good Morning to all...as I was reading your article, I could so relate all that was mentioned.
I too, have wonder myself if I was just a wanderer in this life. What is my purpose? What is the plan of God for me? What are my dreams?
It is very encouraging to know that I am not the only woman discovering what her purpose is.
As I set forth to discover exactly who I am in Christ, and my purpose, I believe that I am going to find much more of me then I thought.
I pray that every woman that is also experiencing her God given talents, gifts, and purpose, come to the knowledge of exactly what her desire and dream is.

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Jill, I can so identify with what you said...but I'm nearly 61 years old and it has taken me a lot longer to get where you are! Just last month I attended a HeartQuest week that completely transformed my life. I now know that my value and significance is not based on anything I do, but Who my Father is. And who I am in Him. He showed me so clearly and lovingly that I have kept Him at arm's length from me due to distrust and disappointments in my life that He had nothing to do with.

He loves His daughters so much, and values them so much because they are His. He is waiting to pour out love on us; He is delighted in us! When I accepted these truths, my life was transformed. My striving has ceased...I live in FREEDOM; to love and be loved. To accept myself in Him and look to each day as a glorious new beginning to experience all He has for me that day!

Connie Martin

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I like you have never really sat back and thought about what I like or who I am. I started working with a counsler not long ago who asked me some questions about this same subject and tell the truth even now I don't really know. I've always been the daughter, the wife, the mother, but who is Leslie?? That's the question I'm looking to answer.

Leslie Cribbs lcribbs@aflac.com
39 years old
Phenix City, AL

Blogger Renee Swope said...

Dear Anonymous at 7:52am. You are right - men definitely struggle with this too. I'm glad you pointed that out.

I know that my husband watched and listened as I was discovering my purpose and it helped Him discover God's purpose for his life, too. He thought it would mean a job change but it's actually been more about him seeing ministry opps at work based on his unique shape. Also, getting involved in ministry at our church that fits his purpose has made a big difference. It's taken years but it's been so worth the effort and perseverance through the ups and downs.

Anonymous Anonymous said...

This so describes me. I am 42 years old and I have never truly felt at peace with who I am. I have never found out what I want to do with my life (other than be a mom). Sometimes I think that is the only thing I can do...and many times I don't even think I can do that right. I am always trying to please everyone else and always compare myself to those around me. It is a lonely place to be!

Blogger Karla said...

What a great reminder today! Thank you! I am currently recovering from a huge 'indiscretion' in my life (that came at a time when I thought I *was* following God). I am trying to figure out who I am and how God can use this mess I've made (which I know He absolutely can for His glory). I am finding that when I seek His heart, more of the heart He created in me is revealed to me.
And I loved your tweet earlier this week about your boys going on your run with you! :)

Blogger Andrea said...

I was just thinking about this sort of thing yesterday. I feel like I have sort of put 'me' away and have forgotten the purpose I was put here for in God's eyes. Thank you for your insight. Blessings to you!
Age 39, in VA

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thanks for this Devotion. I have always been so envious of those people who have a noticeable talent like, singing, art, writing etc. because when they are asked what they enjoy or what they would do if fear was no concern they can jump right to their answer. I have never been able to answer that question. There is nothing that I can say that I truely truely love to do besides be with family and sometimes I wonder if I really enjoy that or if that is something I say because other's say it? That is so sad I know. I need to do some searching and the fact that I am 31 scares me at times but now I feel like it is not to late. Thanks again. jessica_n_collins@yahoo.com

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thank you for putting into words what I have felt for DECADES. I am 54 years old and have always wished to be more of what I just....am not. I have been so mad at God for making me quiet, shy, introverted, a behind-the-scenes kind of person and have often wished I could be more outgoing, fun, and the leader everyone follows. But I simply am NOT that type of person. My good traits are that I am loyal, trustworthy, sweet, kind, and a very hard worker. I know I fit perfectly into the Body of Christ and just need to accept with my heart what I already know in my mind. I have confessed this sin many times and do so once again. With NEW resolve to praise Him for who He made me to be!
Thank you for your honesty! saville1@bellsouth.net

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I can relate to exactly what you said. As I go through life, who I am changes and is becoming clearer the older I get. When I worked, I was focused on my career, but now that I'm a mom, it has caused me to be focused on being focused on Christ first and letting Him lead me and just enjoying each day (our girls are 6 and 4) and seeing where He takes me in the future - I trust in Jeremiah 29:11 - "I know the plans I have for you . . ." danalawson1@yahoo.com from Chicago (age 37)

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am turning 49 in a few weeks, helping others has been what I do. Just last night my husband said "You can't make everything alright for everyone." I know that is God's territory, but yet in the business I do seem to carry burdens that arn't mine. And in that business, somehow I lost me. Thank you, I want, as you have, to serve Him in the way He created me to, instead of this whirlwind that keeps me off balance. Thank you. tburris@windstream.net

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thank you for your wonderful, on-the-mark devotion! Like so many others, I too am constantly comparing and coming up short. I am 47, lost my mom when I was 13 and had an abusive dad. All of this formed me into a people pleaser. I need prayers and would love to be in the drawing for your book - cfrick1@nc.rr.com. I am reading a book right now - Good and Angry by Turansky and Miller - a wonderful book that explains how explosive parenting creates people pleasers - its really great - and I pray that its insights will help me be a better mommy to my HS 8yo daughter. God's blessings to everyone, you are in my prayers today.

Blogger Lauren Thomas said...

I was so excited when I received your devotion today. This has truly been a struggle in my life recently. I'm almost 26 but I struggle with the fact that my life isn't what I had dreamed it to be when I was 5! I am slowly learning to appreciate where God has me and find comfort in the desires He has placed in my heart. Thanks so much!!!


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thank you for the devotion. I have been pondering these thoughts for a while now. I am 47 years old, and in the midst of the search.

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thank you so much for this devotion today. I am 38 years old and live in a small town in Minnesota. I keep asking God what He has planned for me. While I am a wife, daughter, and mother of five great kids, I just can't help feeling that God has more in store for me... Thank you for the resources, I am definitely going to use them to help me in my search to find out why God put me on the great Earth of His! : ) I would love to be entered in the drawing, my e-mail address is: wendy_kresha@charter.net.

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thank you for your devotional. This really spoke to me this morning. I have been going through some new challenges and have just realized that after 7 years of raising twins, being the best mom and wife I can be (along with many other hats), that I really have no idea what God has in store for me or what I am supposed to be doing.I have found that my best is never good enough for the people that surround me and that I only need to do my best for our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. The good news is I do know God has a plan for my life. But I have to admit I am scared of what that plan is. I do find comfort that His plan is perfect and He will be satisfied if I am obedient and He loves me always. I pray I will find the purpose for my life through Gods great Mercy and Grace. I will definitely have to find the time and materials you have suggested to start this journey. Thank you for your perfect timing.
Kimberly Hill

Blogger TnADeVree said...

THANK YOU! God is speaking to me through you today. just last night I was discussing this exact topic with my husband, not knowing who I am or what I'm supposed to be. I never imagined myself at 32 with four kids 6 and under but God obviously thinks I can handle it?! You have given me the tools to start this journey of "finding myself" and God's purpose for me. I admit it's a little scary to start because I don't feel like I've ever been able to find myself in personality tests or spirtual gifts analysis because i always just barely fit into all categories (trying to be who I want me to be maybe?!). I now want to make time to try to figure this out to be who God wants me to be. Thank you for showing me it's possible, I felt like you had written just for me today!

Blogger Josey Bozzo said...

Oh my goodness Renee! You must have used me as our inspiration for this! My whole life I have always dones what I had to do, never what I wanted to do. It wasn't till recently that I started thinking about what I really wanted to do. But now I feel like I've waited so long that its too late for my dreams. I've been thinking alot lately to about where I serve in church. I seem to have my feet in so many different areas and now I'm starting to feel overwhelmed. I know I need to pull back but I'm having trouble deciding where I really want to be.
And a quick side note: A few years ago on our women's retreat our speaker took us through a personality test to help us determine our type.Through the course of it she describe the different types (the same ones you did) and then we scored ourselves based on different answers to questions. However at the end she explained that most of us all have at least 2 of those personality types in us. Then she went on to describe a certain patern it follows. Well, of course I didn't fit the pattern at all. And I still remember her words: "If your pattern is diagonal, then something is wrong, because it shouldn't be that way. It should be up and down or side to side". I laughed about it at the time, but I've never fogotten it.
Anyway, thanks for the chance to win, I'd love to take time to figure myself out, and maybe I'll find out that there isn't something wrong with me after all.

Anonymous Anonymous said...

This is me! densmith@echowireless.net

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Do you have other books or resources you used to help you along this journey? At 37 I find that I've lost sight of what I enjoy doing and what preferences I have as I honor and care for my dh and two ds's. Any and all thoughts you have would be deeply appreciated.

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thanks for the devotion today! It really hit home with me. I have been feeling this way for some time now and trying to figure out just what purpose God has for me and if I am even close to living my purpose. I look forward to reading these Proverbs 31 devotions everyday and I have to tell you that almost everyday when i read them I feel like God is speaking to me becuase in one form or another it completely relates to my life. You ladies are awesome and I appreciate you so much! God Bless you all!
Amanda - 34 from Illinois

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I subscribe to Crosswalk daily and after reading todays encouragement for women I was nearly in tears. This is so me! And I never realized it. I spend every day, stressed, busy, no time for me, no time to focus on what I need or who I am . . . I don't know. And yet I am somehow drawn here to your site and whamm! there it is. Added to this is the simple fact that I have started a journey back to Christ through some very special people in my life. I am participating in a weekly Bible Study and when I found Crosswalk I was thrilled . . . and now your site. What's next? I can't wait for the next ephifany in my daily life.

I live in Hedgesville West Virginia and I am 42 - almost 43 yr young woman.

Anonymous Anonymous said...

What great timing! This devotion and blog have really helped me to fully recognize that I should accept and love the woman God has created me to be. I just turned 23 years old and have done some pretty cool things in my life. However, I really have not found fulfillment as I would like. I believe that once I take this "journey to self-in-God" my life will be more fulfilling and meaningful!


Blogger Kimberly said...

I love so many things about this post and about your devotion! One of my favorite lines from your devotions is this one:

"It's not self-seeking but God-seeking to intentionally get to know and become the woman He created you to be."

That is so good, Renee! I struggle with feeling self-seeking and selfish..but God WANTS me to become who He created me to be. And that is going to take asking Him who He wants me to be...it's going to take learning about me. I am bad to lean towards encouraging others and not letting Him encourage me about me. But I NEED His direction and encouragement. SO thanks for opening my eyes to see that I am not being self-seeking. :)

And I love the line in your post about how we are to complete one another as women, not compete with one another. Soooooo good!

Okay...I won't comment all day.
Just thank you. Thank you so much for having a heart to encourage women to find who they are designed by God to be. To walk in all He has for them! I am 33 years old....and I am so ready to start living the life HE has for me. So ready!

I love, love, love you, my friend!
:) K
(And thank you for the giveaway!!!!!)

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm 35 years of age,never been married with a teen daugter 16 years old.I too am still searching for the answers to who I am in this world. We stay in a small flat and we have our ups & downs. Today's devotion pulled at my heart strings, because sometime ago my daugter wanted to know the same about herself. I wasn't very supportive cause I DON'T even know the real me, or who i am suppose to be.I don't have dreams, since my life became a routine.all my friends are married so i avoide going out with the team,being the odd one out.i avoid mingling with the parents of Charnè's friends cause i look very young for my age and feel like they ignore me in the company like I'm a kid and don't understand adult life. I seriously at myself and where i fit in, thanks so much. gerri

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm 35 years of age,never been married with a teen daugter 16 years old.I too am still searching for the answers to who I am in this world. We stay in a small flat and we have our ups & downs. Today's devotion pulled at my heart strings, because sometime ago my daugter wanted to know the same about herself. I wasn't very supportive cause I DON'T even know the real me, or who i am suppose to be.I don't have dreams, since my life became a routine.all my friends are married so i avoide going out with the team,being the odd one out.i avoid mingling with the parents of Charnè's friends cause i look very young for my age and feel like they ignore me in the company like I'm a kid and don't understand adult life. I seriously at myself and where i fit in, thanks so much. gerri

Blogger Susan said...

This devotion seems to be on a theme for me. I keep asking myself what I want to be when I grow up. I know I have unique gifts and passions to share. Unlike you, I know what I would do if I had unlimited funds, no doubts, no fears. It's a dream I've had for years and years. I just need to figure out how I can make that work for me considering I have no funds, fears, and doubts. My prayer is that God continues to nudge me with these devotions.

Blogger Ola said...

I guess this is the way God wanted it to be. I didnot do my morning devotion this morning becasue I overslept and I said that I was going to read the devotions in my mail box as my only devotion until I got home. I got hit below the stomach by the question what will I like if all things being equal. I had to think on that for a minute but fear, anxiety will not let me see. Its so dark but the only things that I see in a flicker is mom and wife. I am 45years old single with no child. I have made somany mistakes that I understand God if never allows me to be either of this.Timies and times agian He brought me to the brink and I blew it off. Now I see myself as when He talks about giving the land rest for a while and going back to refarm it but if you don't He will drive us out and let the land rest(paraphrase). I am in this place with no friends and afraid to venture out. I turn people off with my actions but I don't mean to and as such I pretend that all is well on the outside. I don't have any dreams anymore becasue I don't know who I am or what I look like. I see myself in the mirrow but soon forget what I look like. I can't sit still for long for I am really busy yah? I am a joke

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi Renee,
I have been asking the Lord to show me why I am here. What is my purpose? I am 42 and my two children are now living many miles away. God spoke to me through your message (this is the first time I have ever clicked on your site through my "Crosswalk Encouragement For Today". Thank you for sharing the tools we need so that we can be complete!

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I don't know what I want to do when I grow up either, and I'm 29 years old with 4 kids! I have never really known my strengths nor had a specific desire for any career. I can't seem to find anything that I really enjoy doing.
I would call myself phlegmatic to a fault. "Peace and relaxation at nearly all costs."
email Jen@dandelionwood.com

Anonymous Anonymous said...

This came at the perfect time. I was just talking to my 14 year old daughter about her dreams for her future when I realized I still (at age 44) don't really know what I want to be "when I grow up". I work a FT job that I usually like, but sometimes I wonder if God doesn't want something more for me. I'd say the categories that best describe me are choleric and phlegmatic.

Thank you for this post and the book references.

Blogger Bobbi said...

Thanks for this timely message. I will be 52 in a few days and have been laid off for over a year. The only lifeline I have right now is my faith...can your book and cd be purchased in Christian Bookstores?
I really need some support and would love to read this over the weekend! Thanks! Bobbi

Blogger Bobbi said...

Renee, wow you have gotten quite the response from this devotion. It was wonderful and it looks like it was as much of an encouragement to be as it was to many other women. I am approaching the big 3-0 and feel exactly as you described. Thanks so much for sharing your heart.
God Bless You,

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thanks for your devotional today. You put into words exactly the way I feel inside. I'm very happy that I've found this website! :-)

Blogger deb said...

Thanks so much. At 51, i am still trying to figure this out. Looking forward to checking out the resources you mention.

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thank you for today's devotion. I'm almost 30 and I've been feeling totally discouraged lately. This was just what I needed to hear this morning.

Stacy (NC)

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thank you so much for this devotion today that I got through Crosswalk. I felt like God was speaking to me today because, like all the other posts on here, I too struggle with finding my purpose in life and what it is God has in store for me. I'm 33 and a working mom but there are times when I want to quit my job and stay home with my 2 year old son but feel like I couldn't handle it. Currently my husband stays home with him and he works in the evenings when I come home from work. I've been struggling for years to find the right career or what it is that I'm passionate about to find a career in that. I am going to continue to pray for God's will and to show me the direction He wants me to go. Thank you for letting me know that I'm not alone in this topic, I'm not comfortable answering those questions about dreams because I do not know what I want to do. I'm going to keep on seeking God's direction.


Blogger navywife said...

Thank you so much! I am a 36 year old married mom of three...I am a wife to a man in the military...I struggle so much with my identity...I am his wife, their mom, the dog's owner, a district empolyee...i have all these hats but yet find little joy...even in knowing what colors i like anymore..my mother said i liked red, so i like red - even though i really like blue. my husband tells me i will enjoy running. i hate it. my children tell me - well they are teenagers they tell me alot...and of course there is little recognition in being a Navy wife...i sit in the background, noone knows who i am, but he wears a uniform, gets saluted, wears medals...Don't get me wrong, I am so incredibly proud of my family, I try and make sure eveyone is emotionally, physically, and spiritually healthy...but as of late...i wonder who am i? what do i like? its as though everything has lost its flavor..Now it would be nice to have medals and a uniform identifying me and my worth, but i know that is just what is on the outside, i want more, i want to be the woman God has created and desires me to be...and that will be my new prayer...and the prayer for my daughters..that they not be lost in indecision of who they are, to be proud of the quirkiness they may behold and embrace the desires to do things out of the norm..as long as they are what God is leading them to do..to be a bridge to His light.

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm 44 and also feel that I haven't quite discovered my purpose yet. Thanks for your devotional. I'm looking forward to following your blog.


Blogger Shannon said...

I am actually going through Temperament counseling with the NCCA. They have a fifth temperament that fits me. Supine. Ü But I would be between a malancholy and phlegmatic....Good thoughts for the day. It also helps to know who your spouse and children are. You can then attend to their needs as well....


Blogger Kim said...

Thanks for this devotion. I am almost 39 and would love to know who I truly am in Christ.

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I have been dealing with this for a while. About a year ago our pastor did a sermon on dreams - which hit home. I have been working toward determining them, and handing them over to God. But, I never looked back at myself...to see how God created me. I now have a new perspective, and - quite frankly- am now overwhelmed by more work that I need to do.
It never stops, I do need to always seek, always work and always strive to be what God wants me to be.

Blogger Enger Adventures said...

Thank you so much for posting this devotion. This put into words what I have been struggling with, and I too thought I was the only one. I am 40, work outside the home and have a 10 year old son and wonderful husband. Blessings to you from Oregon.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thanks for your encouraging words.
I need to ask God what he desires for me instead of listening to others. I'm on the right path.

Anonymous Dan. said...

This is the unlock of the locks which the devil has put in different people's ways. But as the Bible says that ' I will go before you and brake the chains of bronze and show you the hidden treasures...' I believe the Lord is using you to bring a restoration in our lives. Am a new member who just found this site today and am blessed. Please I still need more of these and even other brethren feel free to help me with much more.
Am Dan Ochola from Kenya.

Blogger Angie said...

Very well said Renee! I think as women we do get caught up in competing with one another rather than lifing each other up. It's important to know who we are in Christ and listen for his calling on our life.
Blessings to you!


Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am 41 years old and still discovering each day different things about myself. I can only do this through allowing God to speak to me. It has taken me so long to allow Him to do this. However, I still feel like I have a long way to go and I am very interested in reading some of the books that you spoke of. Thank you for this devotion that opened my eyes and others eyes to the fact that we need to learn just who it is that God created us to be and stop comparing ourselves to others and changing to fit in.

email address: sscole@ctc.net

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Today's devotion was exactly what I needed to hear! It is what I've been dealing with for years! I am almost 48 and never went to college because of financial reasons and also because I didn't know what I wanted to do! This lack of college degree has always limited what job levels I've been able to land. I've tried many career paths, none of them were very successful. When I had children (in my 30's) everything was focused on them, my ideas were pushed aside. I love doing for others and never try to do what I really want for me. I know that God has much more in store for my life! I've prayed for years that He would open the doors so I could see the rich, fulfilling life He has in store for me. I'm going to buy the books referenced in the devotion and open my eyes and heart to His voice!

Blogger Sarah Weir said...

As I was reading your devotional, it was almost as if I was reading it. I grew up in a home that was enmeshed, to use a technical counseling term. Basically, you weren't allowed freedom to be your own self and do your own things. So, growing up I was very confused as to who I was, who I wanted to be, what make me uniquely me, and why anyone would ever want to love me. I have learned a lot about this, partly through living and interacting with people, and partly through taking almost every personality test I have come across. My husband was also instrumental in this. Without sounding too sacrilegious, God would be the savior of my soul and my husband the savior of my heart. I have so much to be thankful for when it comes to both of them.
I'm still trying to figure some of this out, especially since I am pregnant with my first and wondering how this will change everything, but I not longer feel as lost or confused about my purpose and who I am.
Thank you for sharing!
Age 29

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh how well I can relate. I am from Memphis, TN at 39 years old and have become lost in trying to take care of everyone and everything in my life. I am almost drowning in the whirlpool of chaos of husband and parents.

I truly need a copy of the book to help me discover the real me that I have been looking for since jr. high school too.

Thank you for listening to my rambling.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wow, yesterday I was wondering what I should do. I honestly feel as no one likes me. I know, that sounds so jr. high, but it is how I am feeling. I am a horribly lost 50 year old christian woman with no direction in my life at all. My husband and I recently moved to a town 1800 miles from my home, my family, my life. I miss my son, my grandaughter, mysister, my parents and on and on. I do visit, but when I do I almost feel out of place there too. I know God has a plan and purpose for my life, but I have no idea whatsoever what it could be.
My husband and I are both disabled with many medical problems and as for me, that has defined me all of my adult life. But that's not who I am. I'm not just a transplant patient, I am ... hummm... I don't know who!

As I read the perosnality traits in the devotion this morning, I honestly didn't know which one, or two, or three, or even all four I fit into.

It is time for me to find out who God made me to be. I am so looking forward to this journey of self discovery, just the possibility has given me a hope I didn't have before I read your devotion this morning. Thank you!

Blogger lindas said...

Thank you so much for your devotions and post. I'm a recovering perfectionist, so I spent most of my life comparing myself to others. I'm finally starting to figure out what gifts/abilities God has given me (at age 44y.o). I was jealous of my husband who can witness and give the gospel message so effortlessly, and has brought many to accept Christ as their Lord and Savior. I just recently realized that God would rather that I mentor people in their walk with Christ, and help them to grow. We each fill a very important and unique place in God's plan. Mentoring does not come easy to my husband, while for me it seems effortless.

After that realization, I'm really trying to focus on what God's desires are for me. He has removed all responsibilities from me right now, and I'm learning what it means to "Be still and know that I AM God." Psalm 46:10.

These last few days of P31 devotions have really been ministering to me, because there are days where I stumble and just want to give up.

Thank you so much for making yourself vulnerable so the rest of us can grow.

Love to all the girls @ P31.

Blogger JenB said...

What a great post! I really like the quote about comparing our inside with someone else's outside. How true!
I'm 36 from Charlotte, NC.

Blogger MD Kohake said...

I fit in all categories of the personality test! haha! I'm 30 and on the search for God's dreams for my life. mindikohake@hotmail.com

Blogger Connie said...

This really hit home with me; especially since my husband and I have been out of work for over a year. What is God doing? is my constant question. I always described myself as a chameleon--whatever you want me to be, I will try to be that. This is not glorifying God and not helping me! I will dig deeper to find out who it is that God created! ME! clswalsh@gmail.com

Blogger suzi.wollman said...

Sweet Renee, what a joy to read your blog today! I used a similar idea to teach atheist kids from the USSR why they need God to be moral people. I asked them to tell me how long a pen was. After telling them, "No, I don't want to use centimeters or inches as my measurement" someone finally said "It is one unit long!" I responded "Great, now how long is this pen?" Showing them a pen of a different length, I tried to get them to see the uselessness of trying to compare the two pens when each was exactly one unit in length. Telling them that you have to measure something by something else outside the thing being measured, I was able to bridge into talking about how you can't measure human behavior by human behavior. You need something outside humans. That, of course, only works if there is a standard above human behavior. Once they had agreed to that, they could then see the need for God to be moral!

Be blessed, dear sister!


PS, I'm 56 and I guess I'm somewhere between a phlegmatic and a melancholy.

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Being teased as a child has made me into a very self conscious adult. It is hard to love and believe in yourself when others break you down. Striving for perfection and approval from others is an exhauting and self-defeating task! However, knowing that God made me wonderfully complex gives me comfort and I pray that He will help me to be more accepting of my uniqueness. My email address is: bearmc2@netzero.com

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I can't believe how many of us are out there-women in their 40's (I'm 45yrs) and are not sure of God's purpose for our lives. I so want to know mine. And I find it challenging to search for it while making dinner, looking over homework and other day-to-day activities. But I know that He has a purpose for me and I need to commit time to discovering it and all the wonderful gifts He's given me. I pray for all of us who are searching. Thank you for your devotion today!

Erin in Geneva, IL

Anonymous Anonymous said...


Thank you for being such a blessing to others. This devotional especially hit home with me. I think alot of us try so hard to please others that we don't take the time to understand and please ourselves. God is definately working in and through you.

I am 57 and just now working hard to know the real me. I want to impress on all of your readers to pray and listen to God speak to your heart. Sometimes we don't take the time to really stop and be quiet and listen.

Bless You!
Bonnie @ bonni2001@aol.com

Anonymous Anonymous said...

How timely your sharing about Who Are You. I am 65 years old and have been a mother since 16. After raising children, Through many difficulties we had to raise a couple of our grandchildren. Now my mom lives with us. She is 87. I have NO IDEA of who I am. Please give my some ideas of what I can read or study to help me have a life of my own before my time is over on this earth. I know God has had a plan for me and I probably missed it but would love to Bless Him with what He put in me. Thank you

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I love what you said about how God created us to complete one another not compete!! I live in an area that is very competitive and it is very easy to get caught up in that. My hearts desire is to be a completer (is that even a real word : - ). Thank you for the devotion today! kslyby@yahoo.com from Ohio

Anonymous Yvonne - from Singapore said...

This devotion seems coming at a wonderful time. I am going 39 in Oct, a mum of 3 young children (girl 12, boys 9 & 6), a cancer survivor since Jan 2006, completing all my treatments in Aug 2007, involve in church ministry, husband was retrenched months ago and am feeling anxious, burn-out. Who am I?? Have been pushing myself do my best, have been teaching, coaching my children on academics, on God, on loving one another like rushing as not sure how long I will be here. Always others mentioned I done a good job, taking care of family and helping others, am a super woman. I have not stop praying asking God to lead me, but am exhausted. I always try to please others, out of my way to help. I am more of chasing for perfect, excellence achievement.

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm 35 years old and my husband has told me many times that he does not understand how I don't know what I want for myself. My life is full with a full time job at a church and 2 young daughters among other things and my days seem so busy that I can't imagine pursuing something that is as lofty as a "dream". At times his comment to me has been discouraging. Your devotional and blog today was very encouraging to me. As the years pass by I wondered if I would run out of time to define and go after my dreams (he has had many already). I think that if I were in the situation that you described (what you would do if finances and failure were not an issue) I would have responded the same way - not because that is what I wanted to do but because I couldn't answer any differently. Thank you for sharing your story as it has really spoken to me today.

Anonymous Anonymous said...

It is amazing to me how God brings just the right sermon, or just the right devotional, or discussion with someone that I need at the moment! I pray that God will direct me to be the person He wants me to be - more Christ-like for sure - but to stop trying to please the world and please Him which will ultimately give me the peace I have been seeaking.

Thank you for sharing your story.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

I read your devotion on Crosswalks today. I am 55 and feel like I don't know what my talents are and direction would be. I have been doing what I am suppose to be doing at home. I am married and work full-time. My mother-in-law lives with us and is handicapped. I am not sure what my God given talents are but would love to know what God has given me to do. Thank you.

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thanks for your post today. I was just talking to my aunt a couple of weeks ago and telling her that I have no idea what I want to do with my life. For the last 13 years I have been a pastor's wife and 9 of those I have been a mother. My youngest child is now going off to kindergarten this fall and I am trying to figure out what I can do with my "free time". For so long I have been the support for my husband and care taker of our 3 kids. I feel that I have lost myself in church life and being a wife and mom. It seemed so selfish to ask what I wanted to do and be when I have others depending on me. I felt that I was just in the place I needed to be at this time. Now that I am starting to have some "free time", it is time for me to start to look at what I was created to do. Thanks for pointing out that God created us to be unique.

Shannon age 34

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am 63 and still trying to figure it all out. I know God made me to be more than I am but somehow I feel as though I have missed all that He had for me.

Your devotion this morning has made me really sit up and take notice and it also brought tears and prayer. So where do I start? Any suggestions?

Anonymous Anonymous said...

This is timely for me today as well! I am 52, and I have set aside this month to pray, study & hopefully figure out a little better who I am, and what my gifts are, and how I can make my life count. Thanks for the encouragement!


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thank you for today's devotional. I am 50, and even though I feel like my life has been productive, I want to be everything God wants me to be. I know that my marriage and my job are in God's will, but I want to do more for Him.

I am going to get those books and prayerfully find out what God wants me to be.

Blogger Sherry said...

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Blogger Sherry said...

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Blogger Sherry said...

Looking at the personality types, I do not know where I line up. And truthfully, I have always hated that question, what do you like to do? I don't know, it depends on the day, my mood, with who, etc..

Just 2 nights ago I was in tears saying to my husband, I don't know what God wants me to do. Our fairly new church is moving locations and change is on the horizon. Others are talking about how they feel led to do this or that ministry. I felt like a failure not having any clue. I had to remind myself that although I do not know yet, it is God who has called me. He has a place for me, somewhere. Thank you for this devotion, I know God is speaking to me through it.

shrrybaby3@yahoo.com I am 27 years old

Blogger ConnieH said...

Thanks for your openess and honesty Renee. I could completely relate from the first word of this devotional. You always make me realize I am not the only one who has ever felt this way. And reading other people's comments brought tears to my eyes, knowing that you have truly discovered what God has planned for you to do. Thank you for sharing. You touch many people's lives.

I have searched to find who I am, but truly, I will think I've got it figured out a bit, but always seem to go back to doing what everyone else needs me to do and being who everyone else needs me to be.

Life is a journey. It's such a blessing to have a loving God and good friends along the way.

Oh, by the way, I'm 41.

Blogger Michele said...

This bring to mind what I am currently struggling with - my path. Although I believe God placed me where I am now (working at a church), my husband has been laid off and a financial crisis is pending. Praying for guidance on whether I need to search for a job away from the church to help provide for our household... beachml@gmail.com

Blogger Anna said...

I've been a stay at home "working" mom now for almost two years. I am 32 (from California) and I have two girls, ages 2 and 3 1/2. I taught public school then began my own home daycare so that I could stay with my girls. I figured, if they have to be in daycare, I want them in my daycare. I have been so busy with raising children, I feel like I've lost who I was in the process. All I think about are the children and my husband. I know it is a season in my life...but I miss using my other talents and abilities, too. I would not trade being home with my girls for ANYTHING! I just wish I had some sort of outlet.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thank you for your devotion today. Through P31 I am continually amazed to see how many other women feel just like me. I am 35 and I cannot answer those questions either. I don't have any dreams, and that has frustrated me for some time. I have always been one to put my needs and wants aside for the sake of others. Just as you said...my soul has shut down. None of this truly hit me until I read your devotion this morning. Thank you for sharing that there is hope and how to go about making changes. I am so anxious and excited to find His purpose for me as well as my dreams!!!

Blessings to you!!

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thanks for your devotion today. I am 36 and totally identify with the struggle to know who I really am and God's dreams for my life. I struggle with being a people-pleaser, too. It's nice to see other people's posts and know that others struggle with this, too! Amy from San Jose, CA a_rodriguez17@yahoo.com

Blogger Deanna said...

I, too, am still searching at 49. I believe we are to keep searching. Sometimes I feel I have shallow dreams and desires, but maybe in the end God will use them to help others.

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am 32 years and realised that I really hate my job and I have been browsing the internet trying to find what can I do to do a fulfilling job I came to a stage where I have to find my personally then its there I will know what I’m meant to be.

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi Renee,
What a great topic. At 45 I still wonder at who I am. I don't know what my dreams are. I,too, had been so busy filling everyone's needs that I got lost. Well since a teenager, I have been doing for everyone else. Never taking the time to look inside of me and who I am. Thanks for the encouragement to do just that. The book looks great. Beth A. jeffandbeth82@hotmail.com

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I too wonder who I am, but I desire more to know who God wants me to be? I run and run and run, to take care of the kids the house, my family and friends, and I can't really just quit. But I need something for me, not selfishly but God seeking. I began putting my husband first then my kids, and my mom needs help (she has been there a millon times to help me)and others that need help from time to time. But after a while, you lose who you are, what your doing. I want to please God, I know that if I follow his path that my life will be better than if I follow my own path. But I often feel like I would be taking away from others if I do what I want or feel that I should do. It feels like I am being selfish, but actually I am seeking God and his way. But when I am in the middle of a busy day or chaos at home I don't recognise those subtle signs that God gives me. I need to work on that, as well finding me in the middle of my own life. But I wonder if the process of defining yourself is a lifelong journey, because we are constantly changing, and our lives are changing. The kids are babies,then school-age, teenagers, young adults, then we get to be grandparents. As if this was not enough we add growth in a marriage, job changes, house changes, character changes, parents aging, loved ones coming into and out of our lives. And all the while we are trying to seek God's will, his approval, his voice in our life. No wonder I am tired. :) But that is when I get to rest in his comfort the most, when I am too tired or confused to do it anymore and he carries me thru, time and time again. I love our Lord and I am thankful that someone loved me enough to share him with me. Good luck to all in this journey.

Thank you, P31 for your daily devotionals, sometimes it is literally God's words to my heart.

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Obviously this has hit a nerve with so many of us! I am so thankful that it is not just me who struggles with this. I am 48, and keep wondering what my gifts are, if I even have any! I work full-time, have two teen-age boys, and just try to please everyone. Then I wonder what is wrong with me that I'm not more happy! Thank you for your words of hope and encouragement.

Anonymous Debbie Thorkildsen said...

I enjoy learning about personalities. It helps me understand others and myself better.

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear Renee,
I too clicked on your site after reading the devotional. After reading all the comments I too wanted to share my story. First, it was so encouraging to see women who are around my age wondering who they are. I am 55 y.o. and the oldest of 10. I have always been the one my parents depended on and as a result became a people please because helping my mother out made me feel good about myself. Unfortunately, in doing so I let myself go and really had no close friends growing up, I was heavy, shy, a dork really and very afraid to talk to anyone. I have never been happy with ME and at times cried out to God why He created someone like me, which I now know was wrong. I've been married almost 32 years, have 3 grown children and 2 grandsons yet I feel like I have to do things to get anyone to like being around me. Even my marriage suffers because I can't let go and believe my husband truly loves me. That is why I had to make a comment. I am feeling that way big time this morning and I read the devotional and clicked on your site and read the comments and thought God is trying to tell me something. I don't know who I am, what I like. I can never make a decision for fear I will upset someone. Something as simple as picking out a movie terrifies me that my husband may not want to see it so I am always playing the "what do you want to do" game. I know I need help. I want to know me before it's too late. Thank you for your sharing this morning. Pray for me that I can truly know who I am in God's eyes, not the worlds.


Blogger Kerry said...

I'm a 41 yr old wife and Mom of two great kids, ages 3 and 13, what a relief to know I'm not the only one still searching for who and what God wants me to be. My personality falls within the choleric and sanguine. Cant wait to read and find out more about me!

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thanks so much for your devotion and blog. I know the Lord wanted me to read it today because it goes right along with the book I'm reading, "The Dream Giver," by Bruce Wilkinson.

The Lord has showed me that I've let fear keep me from the Dream that He has for me.

Thank you for reminding me to ask God what HIS Dream is for me. He truly wants to show each of us what Dream He's prepared in advance for us!

I'm 48 and have just started asking God this question. It's so good to know there are other women out there who are my age and are going through the same thing.

Thanks again!

Anonymous Anonymous said...

It's encouraging to me to see so many others experiencing the same issues....although I admit I'm a bit afraid to find out who the real me is. God has definitely been trying to get my attention in this area, but I'm in a state of denial, I guess....Thank you and keep on doing what you're doing!!

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am 46 yrs old and i have been struggling for so long and i am realizing that when i read how we compare our insides w/ somone's outside it seems hopeless and they seem happier. Well, i have been asking God to show me a new way and a new life that i have been searching- i have been dealing w/ depression for forever and i am so tired of feeling down. i want to enjoy my life w/ my 3 children and 1 granddaughter who unexpectedly join our family. So i am "crying" out to God to rescue me and that i can enjoy life to the fullest as God has meant it for me as a christian.

Blogger Martha said...

This is amazing! I have been in counseling for the last couple of years battling panic and agoraphobia. One of the biggest things we have worked on is just this...... finding out the woman I want to be, my interests, a passion. I have spent my life being who I thought everyone else thought I should be. I am 55 years old, retired from the school system and currently working from my home. Everytime I even approach this subject, which is almost daily, I draw a complete blank. I pray daily for God to lead me in the direction I should go. In reading the four personality types..... I am definitely all of them! I suppose if I had to pick two they would be Sanguine and Choleric. This is huge for me right now. I am still praying.

Anonymous Anonymous said...

My name is Trish, and I am 30. Thank you so much for your blog. I have been struggling for the last year and a half to discover who I am and to break free from the life-long struggle of being oppressed & depressed by my abusive family & childhood. The Proverbs 31 email devotionals and blogs have really opened my eyes and my heart to healing and to a new way of life. I thank God for them.

Blogger tiggerdaisy said...

Wow, what a great post! I think I might just have to get this book to explore my personality type further!

Thanks for a wonderful and encouraging post, Renee!

Prayers and blessings,
34 years old

Blogger Michele said...

I am a very mixed personality. I find I want peace but I also want control. This has served me well as a pastor's wife in a small church I am often looked to to take charge of things. But I find that as I get older, I would like someone else to take over. God has taken a quiet, shy, woman and thrust her into the frontlines for His kingdom. I pray I am up to the task. Best wishes for all of you gals at the conference. I live in northeast PA and am unable to attend at this time.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thank you for this devotion. At 41, I also wonder what plan God has for me. I am a people pleaser also. But, I am seeing less tendencies of this behavior as I get older. This devotion will make me more aware of the choices I will make for ME and MY plan.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am 52, and retired last Feb. I am not sure what I should be doing. I dont know what Gods plan is for my life. I question every thing I do. I also regret retiring at times. I am praying for God to reveal to me a plan He has for my life.

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am in my 30's and have been seeking God's path for me, for a very long time. I seem to get distracted by life and so busy that I just keep getting things done with out time spent realizing who I am or why I am doing them. Maybe it is time I slow down for myself as well as my family.

Thank you P31

Blogger christmas said...

very insightful and eye opener ideas. have been challenged to find my personality.
country: Kenya

Anonymous Anonymous said...

It is so nice to see that I am not the only one that feels this way. I am a 40 yr old mother of 2 and I am still searching for God's plan for my life. I am so grateful for this devotion, because it makes me realize that I must pray harder on this issue. If we sit, God will speak....thank you so much!!! :)


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thanks for your honesty. I love to read your devotions. They always seem to come "just at the right time". I am 39, to be 40 this month and am a middle child. I have always wrestled with where I fit in. I am a pastors wife and try to 'be all to all' and am exhausted trying. God is so good though and He constantly woos me back to Him and His values for me.
Thanks for your sweet spirit of understanding where we are at. Blessings today.

Blogger Betsy said...

This devotional really hits home with me. I struggled for 35 years to please everyone but myself and God. At that time I finally understood my worth as a child of God and my life has been so much better. However, even now at 54yo I am having thoughts about what God wants me to do with the rest of my life. I am definitely at a crossroads and your devotional is the catalyst I need to figure out what to do next. Thank you for being so willing to share your journey. God bless you!
Betsy from Garner, NC

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi, I'm Valerie Rogers & LOVE the topic for today! I have struggled my entire life with the question, "What's wrong with me?" & it wasn't until a few years ago that I realized that there was nothing wrong with me--I am exactly who God made me...extremely liberating! For years, I lived in a constant state of fear, but through the prayers & encouragement of my parents & friends, God has done an awesome work in my life!
When I was a little girl, I had all these big dreams, but I lost that somewhere along the way. Fear is such a horrible thing; not only does it paralyze you, but it steals your dreams. I lived in fear because I did not know who I was in Jesus, and now that I know who I am, I find that my dreams are getting bigger & bigger. I can't wait 2 c what He's going to do next in my life.

Saints, since we have to live on this Earth & go through all of the trials & tribulations that come along with living a life that is set apart for God, then we might as well have a little fun while we're here-(My Life's Motto...feel free to use it for yourself!)

Your Sister-In-Christ,
Valerie F. Rogers

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thanks Renee

I'm 50yrs old married and have two adult sons. I know that when I look at others, I do not want to be like them or walk a mile in their shoes. I know what the Lord has brought me through and the only one I want to be more like is our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. Having said that,I am not sure what my passion is, I seem to like doing most everything I guess that's ok and I'm not sure about my personality either. I don't believe it's only one but maybe several. I'll ask others who are close to me to tell me what they see. Sometimes I cannot see the forest for the trees so to speak. I am working outside the home and love my job, however it's nothing that I can "move up the career ladder", just feel sometimes like I'm at a dead end, then other times I'm happy just working, it's like a hobby. (go figure)I also love being a home, their is always something to do so if I were laid off,it wouldn't hurt my feelings. I guess I sound weird. Love in Christ.

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi - I am 43 and feel just like many of the other women here. I feel like I have to remind myself that I am an "grown - up" and I have the right to make decisions, have opinions and have desires. I always seem to feel guilty when I do stand up for myself. I hide behind my obsession with weight and dieting. I feel like I am stuck on a hamster's wheel - and cannot get off.

It is so awesome when God brings you just what you need to get you back on track.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

This was really good. I am 31, been married for almost 4 yrs and do not have children yet. I recently left a well paying job of 9 yrs to pursue something different and hoping that God will bless us with children and I can be a stay at home mom... but in the meantime, I have plenty of time on my hands to seek after God and what He wants for me...I don't really know the real me at all...I have no idea what my gifts & talents are...so I am praying that this will be a time that GOd uses to speak to my heart & give me passion for my purpose in life. I want to hear "well done , good & faithful servant" how can I hear that if I don't even know what I'm supposed to do? So thank you for this devotion today, it encouraged me to seek God to show me who I am & why I was created. God bless. ...sulls@verizon.net

Anonymous Anonymous said...

It has been so eye-opening to read some of these comments. I thought I was the only one feeling 'lost' and without purpose. I am 39 years old and just had a baby. I also have a seven year old son and none of my friends are in the 'baby stage' anymore. I am struggling daily with comparing my life to that of those around me. I have been praying for God to give me the peace that surpasses all understanding so that I can be content in any circumstance and live out God's will for my life. Thank you so much for your message today. It reminds me that we, as women, need to build eachother up rather than competing with eachother (even if it's just in our heads). It has really inspired me to investigate who I am and what God's purpose is for me!

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I loved your devotion. I feel like it speaks directly to me. I just had this conversation with a friend of mine about how I have worried for so long on how to please others, I have neglected my own real interests all along and feel like I am missing what God wants to do in my life.

This was one of those perfectly timed messages for me, I love it when HE does that!

I a 32 year old mother of 2.

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wow!! Can you be all 4? I don't know who I am and I am 53. I am a mom and a friend but that is about as far as I get. I talk to God all the time and pray a lot to try and see what my purpose and direction is from God. For many years I was a mom, wife, best friend, co-worker -- then my spouse had an affair and did not want to even attempt to work it out. It has taken 5 years to get past that. I had such a hard time because I felt like I had lost my purpose - I felt like I had lost my family - which in essence I had; not too mention my mom had passed suddenly 2 years prior to that so it was really a melt down. I am better today, thank you God, because of the awesome people he has placed in my life but I still have a long way to go. Thank you so much for sharing.

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wow! God meets us right where we are. I am 51, married and have a 15 year old son. I have been a stay at home mother since he was born. We have done a great deal of moving, which causes constant change....locate a new church home, new friends and find where I fit into God's plan in this new place. It is a struggle and as I become older I feel a bit of panic and pressure to get "underway" with what God wants me to do and be. I always feel His calm reassurance to stay focused on growing up my son into a Godly man and encouraging those around me, but sometimes I just feel there should be more. Reading this post has comforted me to know I am not alone! Thank you and God Bless.

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm 32 and have been feeling badly that I don't know who I am or what I'm about or what God wants me to do with my life. I thought I was a little old to still be struggling with knowing myself. It's helpful knowing I am not the only one in the world feeling a bit lost at 32. I guess I still have time to figure it out.

Anonymous Anonymous said...

WOW!!!!! Once again my Proverbs 31Daily Devotion has hit the nail on the head! So many new stresses have reared their ugly heads in my life that I am totally lost, frustrated, and wondering if "this is all there is" to life!!! I realize that what is missing is the ME that God created! I know what some of my passions are, but don't seem to have time to pursue them. In that, I've lost my deep, peace-filled connection with God and all those I love. I go through the motions of life without really living it! This devotion has made me realize that in order to truly love those around me and live each moment in a way that honors God, I must first truly know and love the wonderful ME God created! I'm going to purchase the book, PERSONALITY PLUS, so I can learn who God created me to be. And most of all LOVE the woman He created me to be!!! I pray that God will open my heart and soul to His guidance as I begin this journey. I'm 53, but maybe it's not too late to teach this 'old dog' a new trick or two! :)

Anonymous Anonymous said...

At 51 years of age I feel like I have wasted so much of my life comparing myself to others, and looking over the fence at those who "seemed" to have it all together. I would love to have that time back so I could be satisified with myself. But the wonderful thing is I can begin now, with God's help, to become that woman God wants me to be, and that means knowing I am not perfect, but being satisfied with God's handiwork in me. My likes and dislikes, my talents and gifts. Seeking His face and finishing the journey He has set before me. How exciting!

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am 54 years old and still don't know what my purpose is. It seems to be to continue taking care of my grown son and my two grandchildren. I really feel I was put here to do more than that, I am praying that God leads me to what he wants in my life

Debbie, Benton Arkansas

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I cried when I read your devotion this morning and then went to your blog and felt more perplexed. Your devotion was the second one I read this morning that spoke about who am I and what does God want for my life.
More strange to me is that I have given up on doing anything but taking care of my children...one with a genetic disorder and needing 24/7 care (we have been praying and trying for yrs to find help but no one has worked out) and one of my daughters has been fighting cancer for over 3 yrs so I have been by her side more time than not. My oldest daughter and her husband moved in to help take care on her brother and sister making our home more crowded and stressed although I don't know how my husband and I would manage without them.
Last year I was hired for a job that was my 'dream' job and though it was part time I had to give it up because of the time needed to take care of my children. I cried for days and asked God why He allowed me to get hired to do something that I was passionate about only to lose it. I stopped dreaming of doing that kind of work and thought that taking care on my children is all He wants me to do.
But I hate my life. I adore my children and I am blessed that I can take care of them and that they are not put in facilities that would not provide that care my husband, daughter and I provide for them. However, there are time when I am around people that are complaining about their jobs and needing a vacation and searching for a different job that I well up in tears and wonder why I still have such a strong desire to have a job. I have prayed that God will give me peace about not have a job and that I can feel better about staying home and taking care of my children.
Then as I read my devotions 2-3 days ago I felt God was speaking to me confirming that He would use my education for His good. Then I read the 2 devotions today. Now I am bewildered. I want to be excited but I am afraid of disappointment. I couldn't answer the question about the kind of person I am, I don't know anymore. I am praying that this is not a cruel experience like I had last summer and than God will reveal His will for me.

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Reading this devotional at this point in my 51 years of life reminds me that God is always doing something new and fresh in our lives; yet we somehow want to hold on to the comfortable things. I am searching for the what's next in who I am God even though I am transitioning from all my responsibilities to others to now it's your turn. My question is God where am I supposed to go next because I can not see it clearly and who am I at this point. (aliceingeorgialand@yahoo.com)

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Interesting that many of the comments are from people over 40! I am 48. I have struggled with comparing myself as a mother and professional with other women in the church. A life long friend recently told me that I need to find out who I am and what God wants for me. This devotion was very encouraging!

I love that quote (comparing our insides to their outsides). I so need to be reminded of that -- especially with She Speaks coming up. I am not like I used to be, and I wonder what my personality is now -- what God has planned for me now (at 36).

I'm looking forward to seeing you again at She Speaks though I'll be hiding in the back corner -- gotta be a back-row Baptist thing ;)

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am 34, a mother of 3, work part-time in the medical field, and I still don't know who I am. I fit parts of all 4 personalities. I feel I spend most of my time being who everyone else needs me to be. And I'm constantly comparing myself to others. I would love to know God's purpose for me. Maybe I'm already living it, I don't know. Thanks for your encouragement!

Anonymous Leah said...

Thank you for your insight. At 53 years old now, I missed out on many years of my "journey" stranded in an abusive and oppressive marriage. Thank goodness the Lord brought me out and I have been able to move forward. I have even married again, to a wonderful Godly man, who encourages me everyday to be myself. Now, if I could just figure out exactly who that is, I would be thrilled! God is working in me and I am looking forward with anticipation as to how He is going to use me. Your devotional was perfectly timed. Thank you for your words of encouragement.

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Our God is such a Mighty Gracious God who gives us just what we need when we need it. One of my sisters at church and I were talking last night at Vacation Bible School about this very topic...how we compare ourselves to others as we grow up and see what looks to be so perfect on the outside, but, as we all know, is not so perfect on the inside. We talked about how we all have our imperfections and struggle to be who God wants us to be. She is one of our youth leaders and has given the lyrics to Jonny Diaz's song "A More Beautiful You" to all our youth girls. A very meaningful song to remind us that God made us, He has a purpose for us just the way we are - not the way society says we should be.

Thank you so much for the post on P31 and the message here as well. There are many of us who struggle with this issue. I know at 49, I am still looking for God's wonderful guidance each and every day!

binyon306 at comcast dot net

Anonymous Anonymous said...

How did you know? This is exactly what I am going through and have been going through most of my life. I am 44 and lost my husband 3 years ago. He left me with 2 wonderful boys, now 14 & 11. I didn't know who I was after he died. I was always Mrs.? or the boys mom. To make a long story short, I got remarried to a wonderful christian man. I believe God brought him to me. I wasn't looking for another husband. I was okay on my own but God had more for me. I started to see myself as me but I still compare myself with others. I feel like I am not doing enough for God. I know "works" don't get me to heaven but I want to do more for Him. I see all the things others are doing and think I am not even close. Your message has made me realize I need to first and foremost please God. I need to be in His word everyday so that I will not listen to what the world tells me. I always knew I was different but in my eyes, not in a good way. So thank you for reminding me that God made each of us uniquely different. It is all part of His plan, not ours. I love all the comments too. I can relate to each one of them and that I am not alone in this.

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Reading your article this morning and then going straight to your blog is so timing for me. I am on a journey right now to know God's purpose and plan for my life. It is amazing how many women and men do not know their purpose in life. I am determined to seek God like never before and I expect him to speak to me and reveal not only my purpose, but my children's purpose in life. Thank you for this "timely" devotion. I would also be interesed in knowing the title of those books.

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I read this devotion just at the right time. I am 52, and still searching for God's purpose in my life. My biggest problem is always feeling that I don't measure up to what God wants me to be. I am praying for contentment and peace with who I am in Christ.

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thanks for the Proverbs 31 Ministries devotion. I'm 42 and also at a crossroads. I would LOVE to have the workbook and CD. I know God wants me to do something...

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sorry...forgot the email address:
hopefulmom7 at hotmail dot com

Blogger brittney said...

Beautifully said, thank you! Just yesterday my husband and I were talking about the falsehood of glorifying self sacrifice by way of neglecting who we are, what we can handle, what makes us, us. I see it everywhere in Christians, it is so prevalent. It's like we think as soon as Christ lives within us, we can "take" anything the world has to throw at us; but, like my husband said, we can bear it for the glory of Christ and rarely was it for the glory of Christ. In all honesty, it was out of fear of making people feel bad, or fear of setting boundaries, or fear of pushing people away from God. Such self absorption! But, God put a piece of Him in all of us and in following Him we can be more in touch with that essence that needs guarding more than anything, for it truly is the well spring of life.

Anonymous Anonymous said...

How do you know which came first? The description that fits who I am now, is it the same description that fit me before life threw at me everything, and then some? Or have I become a different person, and need to find the old me underneath everything? I read articles on how to nurture yourself, but wonder if I am nurturing a fake me, a me that is just desperate to get through each day.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thank you Renee...I can relate and Thank you to all who have stepped out and posted and will post, it is nice to know that I am not alone!

I was recently asked "What are your dreams?" Huh?? I don't have a dream..at one time, it was marriage and children, but I am 41, divorced and no children. I have skills and abilities that God gave me and I love using them to Serve others, but I don't have a dream..that I know of. I want what God has planned for me..I am going through seasons, for 10 yrs I knew where I belonged, then things changed, now I ask "What am I suppose to be doing and What is my purpose?" Today, I feel that I can find out "What is His dream for my life?"

Please enter me in the drawing...I am PEACE w/parts of FUN, CONTROL, PERFECTION, too.

God Bless and Ride Safe..
Sunshine :)

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Your words describe me to a T. I'm 43 with two wonderful children, 23 & 20 and wonderful husband of 25 years. I have always been a "pleaser" so I don't know who I am...or what I would like to do if I could do anything. Instead I go to work everyday, completely unfulfilled, feeling like I don't serve a purpose other than to bring home a paycheck, but feel guilty for feeling this way because in the big picture I am very blessed compared to many others. I hope to read your book so I can begin the journey of finding out who I am and what God's purpose is for me. ceddins965@yahoo.com Thank you!

Blogger Pam said...

Good morning Renee.... God's timing and faithfulness is so good. Funny... I've been lost and missing the who I was when I was younger. Not really sure of what my purpose is... feeling discouraged in the mommy-wife-homemaker role. Feeling like I'm not doing anything well in any of the roles. I miss the "strong" person I was when I was younger, very much faith-based at that time. Please understand, I do love being a mom and wife... just not feeling like I'm doing a very good job or setting a good example of my faith. I am going to pray more about this. Thanks for being faithful and writing about what He wants you to write about!
God Bless!
44, currently living in WA

Blogger Campbell said...

I am awestruck at the multitude of comments your devotion encouraged this morning. Not surprised, mind you, because I could see my own life reflected in the messages from almost every single response. At nearly 50, I find myself on a crossroads once again-this time, to accept the challenge the Lord has placed before me of going back to school to complete my degree so that I can become a teacher of Family and Consumer Studies, a discipline often overlooked when tallying up the value of education. I know without a doubt that this is what God has intended for me-it is a beautiful fit with the experiences of my entire life, but especially with what I've been doing the past ten years. He has been preparing me well to be equipped for this next leg of my life journey, and I am ready to begin. Does that mean it's easy? No-obstacles come in every shape and size. and often the obstacle in the path is the one I see in the mirror.

As a choleric personality (I really hate it when these traits are out of control-ironic, huh?), I struggle most often with the need to be part of the discussion, to be heard. Yet, when I think of Father God, He already knows all that I would say, all that I need, and what I need to do is to trust His plan for me, to relax in the promise that He knows my future, and has plans for a hope for me. The need for control vs. the need and desire for God...a daily struggle. My prayer is that He wins more often and that my desire for Him becomes the controlling influence of my life-every day.

Thank you,


Blogger Campbell said...


Anonymous Candace said...

I am 27 and the Lord has been working on me for a few months about my calling and purpose in life. I am aware of my spiritual gifts and the desires He has placed in my heart, but I don’t know what the next step is to discover His perfect will for my life. I am thankful for the process and know that as long as I seek Him, He will show me the way. Thank you for allowing God to use you for His glory.

Blessings, Candace


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thank you so much for your encouraging words! I find it funny that as a recent empty nester at 48, I too have struggled for some time with just what God's plan for my life is really. I'm not the only one who's asking these questions during my mid-life years!

I have many strengths and passions that are not being used to their fullest potential. I want to wake up each morning excited about my day and serving the Lord. I'm not doing that right now. I'm encouraged by the daily devotions. It seems each one speaks to me. Thank you for encouraging other women!

Anonymous Anonymous said...

As I was reading through the posts, I was very touched by how many women feel so out of touch with who they are. I also felt led to share my story in the hope that someone else could get encouragement from it. I married when I was 18 years old and have 4 children. My oldest is married and my youngest starts Kindergarden this year. I have always tried to be the perfect daughter, wife, mother, and friend. About two years ago, I woke up and realized that I felt nothing. I thought I was depressed and then I realized that I was really just unhappy. I was overweight and overwhelmed. I just started losing weight, and then I started examining myself. I realized that I didn't know what I liked to do, I didn't know what my favorite color is, or even my favorite food. I decided that I needed to find myself. I unfortunately didn't think too much about finding myself in God, because I thought I was ok there. I was a believer, after all. As a result, I find myself at 41, going through a divorce, and just starting my search for God's will in my life. I will be praying for all of the women out there who feel like they don't know God's plan for their life. And I encourage all of you to find out who you are and what God's plan is for your life. I have learned a lot of great things about myself and my place in God's plan. I am not sure if my marriage could have been saved if I had focused on God more at the beginning of my search, but I do know that even in these circumstances, I am more at peace than I have ever been now that I am looking to God for my selfworth and direction. Anyway, just remember to keep God first in your search.

Blessings to all.

Anonymous Anonymous said...

wow, I am 53 with my youngest starting his senior year of high school and I wonder what it will be like with an empty nest. My husband and I will celebrate 23 years this October. I have a home business and am excited to see where it goes..
thanks so much for this

Blogger kristine kelly said...

Thank you Renee! I love reading all the comments to your devotion also as it lets me know I am not the only one who hasn't figured it out yet. That, itself is comforting knowing that I am not even alone in my "aloneness".
I am so looking forward to growing and discovering. I did the "strengthfinder 2.0" assessment test to find my top 5 strengths and am using that as a guide also... along with prayer and searching scripture. I have always enjoyed writing... and I was gifted with "the gift of gab" so public speaking just seemed to follow that gift. Can't wait to get to She Speaks!!! Whoo HooO
Blessings and Gratitude!

Anonymous Anonymous said...

This devotion was just what I needed. I am 32 years old and I went back to college last year, but that was only part of discovering me. I am at least two of the personalities that was described. However, my problem is sometimes the combination of the two causes problems in my marriage. I think that could be becasue I still do not truly understand who I am and what God's purpose and plans are for me. I think the book that was recommended is something I need to read. As stated in a previous message, it really is nice to know I am not the only woman who feels this way. Thanks so much for sharing.

Faith (reece957@yahoo.com)

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thanks so much for your devotional this morning. It has been so encouraging to know I am not the only 55 yo woman to wonder where my passion lies. I, too, struggle so much with comparisons. I was beginning to wonder if it was depression or something else wrong with me. I do plan on reading the books and doing the studies you reference. Thank you for your ministry.

Linda from Nashville, TN

I am 45 and from NE. I can't answer your questions. I still don't know who I am. I know what I like, but my DH doesn't like that I am a creative person, so I am constantly trying to be something else and I don't know who I am.

It seems I've never felt like I was good enough at anything or worthy enough to have anything nice. I feel like I'm always "settling for". I wrote down your information of books to read. I would like to purchase them, but I probably won't because then I feel guilty for spending money for myself.

Please pray for me as I struggle with this every day.

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wow, there are a whole lot of us out there!! I am so glad to know that I am not the only one, at age 46, who doesn't know her calling and is searching but doesn't know where to start! God knows all things and He knew you needed to have this ministry for those of us in the same boat. Thank you so much for your obedience to Him. May God show His favour in every area of your life! Anita - aholden@va.metrocast.net

Anonymous nikki said...

Good morning! You described me to a T this morning. I am a 32 year old wife and mother of 2. I work full time, but I feel like I am just coasting along. I work as an Admin Asst for the aging and disability for the State of Texas. One of my coworkers wants to groom me for her job as a Contract Manager when she retires, but I don't know if I want to do that. I just told her the other day, I don't know what I want to be when I grown up! Alot of times I feel pressure to go after the money, but I want enjoy what I do. She tells me you are too smart to stay in this position for long, but I know for right now that is not something I would want to pursue. And sometimes I feel bad about that? Are my expectations too low? Well this devotional just confirms I need to do what My Father wants me to do, not what other people, or even just what I want to do. People tell me, I would be crazy to pass up all the money that would come with this job, but that doesn't motivate me. Thank you so much for sharing your story, which is actually my story too. I know the Lord, and the Holy Spirit will lead me down the right path, the path He wants me on, not the path everyone else has traveled! :-)

Blogger Sandy said...

Hi Renee,

Thanks for your insights and sharing. I could completely identify with you and didn't know so many women felt so lost in who they were and what they were created to be and do. That has been my life story even now at age 36. There's always been a longing in my heart to find what that is or if that is really something tangible to pursue. But one thing is sure, I really don't know who I am, what I like because I too got lost in being so quick to please others and put others' interest above my own. It's such a balancing act, because the Bible says to put the interest of others above our own. I never knew when to draw that line, but find myself so many years later having forsaked developing who God wants me to be.
So now I will pray for God's dreams for my life. Thank you for the encouragement.


Anonymous nikki said...

Forgot to leave my email address reenicole77@yahoo.com!


Blogger heather u said...

Thank you for this devotional! It is so true that we lose ourselves in the busy-ness of life. It happened to me...I started working at 16 (as many teens do) to take some pressure off my mom, so that she wouldn't need to worry about buying my clothes or giving me money to do things with friends. I worked to pay for my own senior pictures, ring, etc...at the time those things seemed so important :) I always let my friends choose our activities, even if it wasn't my fave. I married at 21, and continued my trend - allowing my husband to make the decisions (as he should), but somewhere in it all, I had forgotten what things i actually liked and which ones i did because someone else liked them. I have been single (with one child) for over 2 yrs now and just now am discovering the kinds of things that I enjoy. I am beoming acutely aware of when I do something because someone expects me to and when I am driven to do something because its who i am. This devotional is a great encouragement, so thank you very much for taking the time to post it! My email: heymarie76@gmail.com

Blogger BeeHoly said...

Thank You...
for this devotional! It really spoke to me. I'm only 16 from Atlanta,GA and I find myself playing the "comparison game" alot. I dont know what it is, but I feel God telling me He has big plans for my life. That's why I want to make sure I follow His plans and not mine.


Blogger Stephenie said...

I'm 35, and in a lot of ways, I think I'm only beginning to understand what God has planned for me. One thing is for sure, just when I think I've got it figured out, God shows me another part. It used to bother me, but not anymore. Can you imagine how overwhelming it would be to see the entire journey we would take with God from beginning to end right at the get go. I like this one thing at a time way of life much better. I think discovering my personality traits will help me be a better parent.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear Renee,
Thank you for being so vulnerable with us, at God's direction. I am a 38 year old wife-nurse-Sabbath School teacher-daughter-sister melancholy phlegmatic who has no idea what my dreams are. I feel like I'm blooming where I've been planted. I pray for God's will in my life. But I have no idea what His plan for me is. I just keep trying to do whatever He presents day to day.
I think I will try to read some of the books that helped you, because I have no dream and there is a verse in the Bible that says "Where there is no vision, the people perish." Other than waiting patiently for Jesus to come take us home, and trying to bring as many people with me when I go, I'm not sure what I'm supposed to be doing.
Thank you for sharing your feelings and thoughts with us. You've been such a blessing to me.
In Him,

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Seems like this devotion was so timly for many. Thanks for listening to God's and letting him speak through you. We all should be constantly looking for what God wants us to be.... more like Him. And as I struggle with that very issue, I was encouraged by today's inspiriation. Thank you. 44 yo, kathyh@mail.umobile.edu

Anonymous Lisa G said...

I found this topic to be very timely. I am a 45 year old women/mom living in Alpharetta, GA and have been searching (and slowly) finding who I am in Christ and my purpose for his kingdom for the last 4-5 years. But I am still searching and moving forward day by day!

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thank you for raising this issue. It seems to affect women more than men. I am now 57 and after the break up of a 32 year marriage that I really never thought would dissolve, I have been slowly but surely recovering, thanks to the grace of God. I defined myself more by what my husband wanted me to be than who God had created me to be. Self esteem crashed, therefore, when my husband chose a younger woman and left me.

Like so many women I speak to, life gets more and more complex as relationshps change and develop. I am so grateful to God for His strength and His goodness that has kept me alive. The reality of His love has been demonstrated through friends and through my husband's family...how amazing is that? I can honestly say I have learned so much about God in this time, it has been worth it.

One more comment. I did the 'Freedom in Christ' course through my church about a year ago and that was wonderful! It is immensely practical, totally Bible based and the 'Steps to Freedom' part brought me so close to the Lord...it was an experience I find hard to put into words. He dealt with issues that I had been living with for too long and I realised more than ever just how much He loves me...the Lord of Heaven and earth loves me and Jesus died to set me FREE!! What an amazing truth!

If he did it for me...then, whoever reads this, he did it for you too!!

Thank you for creating this blog! It is good to share God's love for His daughters like this!! May God bless your ministry!

Blogger JackieLewis said...

Thank you for sharing what God has set on your heart to share. Your blog always inspires me. I am a 47 year old mom of three wonderful grown kids. My life has been centered around them. Though now I am divorced, I look forward to finding me and what God has planned.
Bless you from jrl2691@gmail.com in Corpus Christi, Texas.

Blogger pam said...

Thanks Renee for the devotion today. It is perfect timing for me. My oldest daughter is getting married in a few weeks! My other two children are going to be off in college. A big change for my life...no more volunteering at school and all of their activities that needed extra hands. Lord, what are the dreams, hopes and desires that you would want me to do. What is my purpose? I can hardly wait to dive into this material. Praising God for what He is going to do. Pam

Blogger veronica said...

The timing of this is perfect of course God is perfect and he knew that I would be reading this at this time. My husband and I are struggling right now. We have been married for 23 years. We married young. We have 4 boys. I stayed home for awhile, worked part time and attended college here and there but never finished. I feel that if something happened to my husband how will I support my family. I know God will provide but is there something I should or could do to be prepared for such a situation.
Right now I'm wondering what it is I want to do when I grow up but I'm 42 and still not sure and at times feel I should have had the answer by now and well into whatever it should have been but I have'nt and I'm not. I'm tired of being afraid. I want to know who I am and what God's plan is for me. Thanks for sharing how God is working in your life and you sharing this with others.

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Your blog today and your submission on P31 really spoke to my heart. I didn't realize how much I needed to read those words until after I had read them. I am recently seperated from my husband of 10 years. Those ten years were filled with emotional and physical abuse. My mom was constantly telling me that I wasn't her daugther--meaning that I wasn't the person she had known before I was married. I didn't understand that. Now that I am on my own, I am struggling with who I am. I read the four personality descriptions and I found that I could relate to pieces of three of them. Yet, I am still trying to figure out "who am I, what makes me happy, what do I REALLY enjoy?" Thank you for the resources you have provided and your daily uplifting of my spirit. I am in Glen Carbon, IL. jekkaj1@hotmail.com

Blogger akia said...

Thank you for sharing your story. I am 26 years old and for the past 6 years I have been working on going to nursing school with a family. In the last 2 months after taking one of the last classes that I needed to take for pre reqs, I stopped because I feel like that is not where God wants me to me. So I am finding myself and starting all over again. I felt bad at first, I just started to accept it and I feel a lot better about my decision. akia

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I can relate to this! This is what I need to hear. I've been desperately trying to figure out what God's plan is for me for years. I would be great to finally figure it out.

Blogger Lyn said...

Your words in today's devotion as well as in your blog were just what God needed me to listen to right now. Last year, my youngest child went to college, and my husband and I moved 3000 miles away. I left a great job, and am back to being a stay at home mom, but all my children are out of the house! Each step and risk has taught us something, and God has been faithful. I still wonder why I had to go through all these changes! There is definitely a reinventing season going on in my life, and it's good. I am having to give up more control than I ever even knew I had! It is such a relief to be reminded that I am not in control and my responsibility is to seek God's truth, not create my own path! Thank you for the encouragement!

Anonymous Anonymous said...

My husband and I are both struggling in this area. I'm tired of going in circles. I pray that God will guide us to be th people we were meant to be

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I really enjoyed your devotion today. In reading through all the comments, it helps me to see that I am not the only 40 something woman that is still in this place.


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