Mining for Gold in the Heart of Your Child

Yesterday, I shared my story of becoming a gold-mining mom. You might want to scroll down to read the first part, then come back for the rest of the story. It will will make much more sense if you start with the beginning.

The next day, Joshua and I created a character chart on poster board. We made cards to attach that included a character trait and Bible verse and clip art Joshua selected to illustrate the actions and attitudes. We made gold nuggets by balling up foil and spray-painting them gold. That afternoon I showed J.J. our new invention. He liked the idea and agreed to join the adventure.

We decided to focus on a different trait each week while looking for ways to live them in our everyday lives. At dinner or bedtime we’d talk about ways we shared, showed patience, persevered, etc. We incorporated that week’s verse in prayers for our family and others. When we saw Joshua displaying one of the golden actions or attitudes we gave him a gold nugget. We also set up a system so he could save and redeem the nuggets for special treats or family activities. This became our way of encouraging him for showing good character. It also helped him learn delayed gratification; the perfect fix for those “I want one of everything” days.

As we read Bible stories with our boys, I started looking for examples of people who showed good or bad character. The new perspective God had given me for parenting started shaping my prayers as I asked God to mold our children’s character and our own to look more like His.

Although I was the one who initiated this new idea, my husband, J.J., caught on quickly and even started making up games to teach the kids traits we were learning each week. One day he tied a blanket around Joshua’s waist and put M&M’s in a cup on the other end of the room. He told Joshua to pull against the opposing force of dad holding the ends of the blanket to get to the cup.

While Joshua pulled, J.J. shouted discouraging comments like, “You might as well give up. You are never going to get to the other side. It’s just not worth it to work so hard.” He also had Andrew, our youngest son, cheer Joshua on with encouraging statements like, “You can do it. Just keep your eyes on the M&M’s. Don’t give up!” Finally J.J. allowed Joshua to get to the cup. While they M&M’s together, J.J. talked with Joshua and Andrew about the rewards of not giving up even when things are really hard and the power of encouragement to help someone persevere.

Isn’t it just like God to take a mom's mess and give her a message that she needed - and one she could eventually share with others. I pray that it is giving you hope. You see, our home changed the week I was ready to give up! And it has never been the same. With new perspective in our parenting, my husband and I have become a gold-mining mom and dad. It’s been almost 10 years since then, and we are still looking for new character traits to learn and we ways to live out God's Word in our everyday lives. It has taken our kids beyond the basics of Bible stories and made following God’s commands more of an adventure rather than a set of rules and regulations. The golden nuggets have become tangible blessings and reminders of God’s promise to reward us for following Him.

Although the world tell us to seek the treasures of big houses, new cars, skinny bodies and expensive vacations. God tells us to mine for gold in our own backyard by investing our lives in shaping the hearts of our children. The Bible says children are an inheritance and parenting is a high calliing. Today's kids are tomorrow's leaders - for our communities, our churches, our schools, and our nation. Shaping their character is the most worthy investment we can make.

But it won’t happen just because we think it’s important. It will only happen if we take time to show them what it looks like and coach them through circumstances where they can choose character over convenience. Like any learned skill, character has to move from the head to the heart and then be practiced in everyday life.

After several years of shaping our children's character with God’s Treasure Box of Truths, mining for gold in the heart of our children has become a reality, and we are richer for it. Bringing out God’s best in them has gone beyond gold nuggets to the reality that we are accomplishing in our kids what God wants to accomplish in us. He wants all of His children to have a heart like His. The good in each of us is because we are created in His image. The gold we find in the hearts of our children is that which reflects the heart of God and the golden truths of His Word.

As I shared yesterday, the day I almost quit being a mom was actually the day I started becoming the mom I wanted to be and the mom God created me to be – a mom with a heart like HIS.

Tomorrow, I've got some very practical steps to share to help you get started. See you then!

Copyright 2009, Rene Swope - All rights reserved.


Today's Mom Give-Aways

Today we are choosing winners from the comments and giving away two D6 mom resources - a copy of my "Mining for Gold in the Heart of Your Child Chart and CD, a D6 Mom Tshirt and a year's worth of Family Devotional Magazines from D6. We're giving away gifts every weekday, so be sure to come back for more mom encouragement and resources from D6 and Proverbs 31 Ministries!

To be part of today's give-aways, click on the words "comments" below this post and PLEASE include your email in your comment so we can get in touch if you win!


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi Renee,
I am back after yesteday's post to learn and be encouraged. Thank you, again, for being you!
:)Maria in CT

Blogger Jennifer said...

Hi Renee, I couldn't wiat for more after yesterday...this tired mama is always so thankful for practical tips and ideas...thanks so much!
Jennifer in Grand Rapids, MI

Blogger Shannon said...

Thank you for the encouragement....I think I am in the midst of those "pink slip days" every other day! Praises to my Lord that has made me aware of the two blessings I have and continually calms my heart for them!

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I was hoping you would give us these details!!! Can't wait to read tomorrows! Now I'm waking up first thing to proverbs 31 and your website!

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi Renee,
I am blessed with what you've shared. I have two kids a boy and a girl. Actually at this point I am really praying how i will raise my children to be a godly one.You're right when you said that only God can help us to be a mother that He wants us to be. Thanks so much for the tips and ideas!!!

Anonymous Miriam said...

Hi Renee,
It's neat how you were inspired to come up with a practical method of developing character traits in your children. Thanks for sharing your experience of feeling so low as a mother and of how your perspective and actions were transformed by Jesus.

Blogger Susan said...

Can't wait until tomorrow! My brain is working overtime right now and it's only 8 am!


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thank you for your stories of inspiration.

Blogger Wendi said...

Those are awesome ideas. I hope I can implement them in my house. I so often see the dirt on my child rather than the gold inside.

Have a blast today in Houston. I wish I could be there with you all!

Wendi, College Station

Anonymous Anonymous said...

HI Renee, Just meeting you! I was given yesterday's Proverb 31 devotion from a friend and decided to read more. Thanks for the encouragement and ideas. God bless. Audrey in MS

Blogger Jess said...

I am so excited to try the "chart"... probably more for me than for my kids right now. I feel so many days when I forget all those traits and then expect my children to just know them when I'm not being that great of an example. It's great to hear practical advice... especially from a mom that has "been there, done that".
Jessica in Lancaster, PA

Blogger Donna L said...

Thank you Renee for sharing from your heart again. I discovered your blog about two weeks ago and I have already gleaned so much from it. Have a blessed day!

Donna in AR

Blogger KimAmburn said...

I love both of these posts - these concrete examples of how you're using God's truths to teach your children inspire me to do the same. Thank you! BTW, my kids ages are 5 and 7.

(I'm not leaving my email b/c I've already won something!)

Blogger HL0517 said...

love that story and what an amazing lesson to teach your son.

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thank you so much for sharing your family stories and encouraging us mama's not to hand in our "pink slips."

Shannon in LA

Blogger Shannon said...

Good practical tips...thanks so much for sharing.


Blogger Joyful said...

Oh you do have a heart like His my friend. It's that heart that drew me to you. I receive more of Him, when I'm with you. Thank you for letting your heart overflow on me.

The example of the blanket and the M&M's was powerful! Sometimes I feel like the evil one has that blanket around my waist, and it's so easy to give up, but I won't find comfort under that covering. Need to keep persevering for that cup, not of M&M's, but Living Water.

Praying for you even now, and on my knees at 11:30 for your event this morning. Can't wait to hear how God answers.

Love, prayers and hugs,

Blogger Heather said...

I can't wait to get started! I've always wanted to teach my children the traits of God but relying on my example just was not working. Wonder why??? I'm headed to walmart to get some posterboard! I know I can be the mom I've always wanted to be. Thanks Renee for obeying God's calling in your life so He could bless me (and others!) through it!


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Looking forward to your suggestions tomorrow... Thanks for the encouragement!

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi Renee,
You have me hooked! I will be back tomorrow to learn more!

I seem to be paralyzed in my spiritual life, unable to do anything for fear of failure. I fear making a chart for my children like you did for fear that it will fall by the wayside like every other chart I have made. I fear journaling because every time I start, it lasts about 3 days.

I need to get to the point of turning in my pink slip so God will whisper His promises to me like He did for you.

Thank you for sharing!

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi Renee!

What a wonderful story love the "golden nugget" theory. I very much look forward to tomorrows practical ideas. I am not one who is good at sharing faith. Am a strong believer but not good with communicating it. Your stories are helping show me every day situations in which we can share faith with our kids. I just feel so "fake" doing it. Guess I need to pray to God more for help in this area



Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thanks so much for your encouraging words. Only yesterday I told my husband that this parenting thing sure wasn't getting any easier and I didn't think that I was getting any better at it. I have a 10 yr old daughter, an 8 year old daughter and a 5 yr old son. I am thankful for each new day to try and make things better.
Erin in Illinois

Blogger Tugs said...

Thank You so much for your obedience to write the things you write right when you are to write them. I believe your post to be an answer to my prayer!! I am a homeschooling mom who has become weary with my own inabailities and I cried out to God to show me and encourage my heart today and here it is, through your words!
Again Thank You!

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thank you for your words of encouragement. Some days I want to turn in my pinkslip too! But who could do this but me. Motherhood is the greatest challenge put before us as children of God. We are loaned these tiny bundles to mold into His likeness. To prepare them to do great things and small things in His name. To live lives of integrity. And, one day send them out into the world. Something only God could equip me to do daily.
I want to praise the God of restoration who blesses us with a new morning after a dark night.

Michelle, mom to a 6 year old boy and 2 year old girl.

Blogger MJ said...

Thank you so much for your affirming words. It's hard some days to be a mom.

Melanie in Ohio

Anonymous Tami said...

Hi Renee,
I am a brand new reader and your post on "the pink slip" came at the most perfect time-thank you Lord!! I read it on Crosswalk/Encouragment for Today and then hopped over to your blog from there. It is hard to explain how much I needed to hear what you had to say. The Lord used you in a mighty way to speak to the heart of a small-town girl in the middle of Iowa. Thank you for sharing your heart and the power of God in your "mommy life". I've added you to my favorites and I can't wait to hear what you have to share next! Thank you!!
Tami in IA

Anonymous Erica said...

Thanks so much for sharing your story. Being that mom God has called me to be is what He is really working on with me right now. Being slow to anger, quick to listen...I enjoy the practical and encouraging advice from your ministry and as i get encouraged it makes me want to encourage other moms!

Anonymous Anonymous said...

With a 13, 11, and 2 year old I feel like handing in my pink slip almost every day. I really needed to read this and let it sink in! Thanks for sharing your wisdom!


Anonymous Mom2Navybrats said...

Thank you for inspiring us to be the mom that God intends for us to be. I cannot wait to read tomorrow's post.

Blogger tiggerdaisy said...

I just love this idea! Thanks so much for sharing it with others! :)


Blogger momagain67 said...

Renee, Thank you so much for your last two posts; can't wait to see tomorrows. Parenting a strong willed child can be tough! But I do see the sparkle of the gold beneath all the sass and attitude - just have to do some more digging. I'm headed to get the aluminum foil and spray paint right now :)

Praying God's power and blessings all over you women in Houston today. May hearts be touched and lives changed!

Blogger valerie in TX said...

I "stumbled" across your blog yesterday through a link in your P31 devotional...and I am sure it was the purposeful leading of God that brought me here. I am desperately in need of the wisdom God has given you to share and will be getting your chart and CD whether I win it or not! :) (but of course winning it would be so much more fun!)

Thank you SO very much for sharing what God has given you. Please pray for MY family - that I will have the strength and discipline to be intentional about mining for gold in my children's hearts.

Blogger Casey S. said...

I can't wait to read what ideas you have tomorrow. The things that you have already shared are great. My son is 9 and I'm looking for ways everyday to incorporate such things in his life. Thank you so much for your encouraging words.

Blogger Andrea said...

Wow. Thank you for sharing! I can't wait to learn more.

Andrea in AZ

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi! Thank you for providing practical tips that I can do as a mother!

Anonymous Joy said...

I'm so excited. After reading yesterday, I am really moved to begin something like this with our 3 year old son. He's been learning some different (read: poor) behaviors in preschool that are SO outside his gentle character, and it's not too early to put in place teaching opportunities to build character instead of just disciplining him for wrong choices. He will TOTALLY get into this, and I'm excited to pull my husband into the loop. He has the coolest ideas all the time, and we've both been fighting major discouragement about our parenting and the struggles we're facing. I thank the Lord for speaking through you!


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thanks for the ideas and encouragement. It's so easy to want to do well for our kids. It's harder to put it into action.
Laura V. in IN

Blogger My2Blessings said...

Thanks once again for the encouragement to keep on keeping on! Being a mom is the hardest job I've ever had, but it's also the most rewarding one...most days anyway :) With God's help, all things are possible! I need to remember that and realize I can't do it ALONE. and ASK for His help. He knows what we need before we do and He's always ready and waiting!

Have a blessed day!

Debbie in CO

Anonymous Lisa V said...

What an awesome responsibility we have as moms. I'm beginning to understand how vital my role is in shaping my son's character. It's almost overwhelming me at the thought. I feel unqualified! Your posts this month have been so encouraging and have really reached me. I can't wait to read your suggestions tomorrow on how to start!

Lisa V in NJ

Blogger Lorrie said...

Hi Renee - Got your post from a friend. Boy it was what I REALLY needed. Blessings

Blogger Sarah said...

I am so excited about this series of blog entries. Thank you so much for sharing with us.

Blogger Robin said...

Hi Renee,
Thank you so much for your post yesterday and today. I can't wait to see tomorrows. I have 2 girls, 6 and 4 and it has been a tough week. Your "pink slip" story reminded me of the time my oldest was 2 and was telling me if I didn't get into the room right now, she was going to fire me. My reply was "you can't fire me, I quit".
Thanks for sharing with us.

Blogger Sheila said...

Thanks for the wisdom and creative ideas! My son is 17 months. I want to be intentional about building in to him. Sometimes it's hard to be creative and intentional! Thanks for the help!

Sheila in Columbus, OH

Anonymous Kathy ( said...

Hi Renee, I am a newly divorced mother of 2 teenage boys. Reading your encouraging words is a blessing - I wonder how I make it through after a long day at work with kid's who are not motivated to do well in school. It's difficult to be upbeat and supportive to them in these circumstances. I am learning to let go and let God, but it is very trying some days.

Anonymous Twila said...

Thank you for your willingness to be vulnerable. I am a mother to two toddlers and am in the throes of what you described. It helps to hear that I am not alone and that you found hope and moved beyond this place. Thank you.

Blogger My Journey to Hope said...

What an incredible object lesson for your kids (and for the parents, too!). Especially with the m&m's. I'm grateful that when we feel like we're at the end of ourselves, God gives us more rope to hang onto. Thank you for sharing your heart!


What a neat way to teach your kids this. My are much older but you got me thinking....

In His Graces~Pamela

Blogger Michele said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

Blogger Michele said...

Thank you for your wise words and encouragement. I would love to have more information on what your chart included. Is there a resource out there I could get my hands on? I'm sure I could do the work myself, but why reinvent the wheel if it has already been done? This is exactly the kind of thing that I've been wanting to encourage my kids with, and sounds like it would be a great motivator to instill in them the characteristics God wants to see in us. Thanks again.

Anonymous Angie said...


Thanks for the encouragement. This is a great way to teach character building skills.


Blogger Nikki said...

Thanks again! SO looking forward to tomorrows post. I NEED those practical ideas and suggestions to mine the gold in my own children's hearts!

Anonymous Anonymous said...

THANK YOU for sharing! I have a 2 y/o and a 7 month old, work full time and trust God to help me keep things in perspective when both are crying, tired, and hungry when we get home after work and daycare. I want so much to raise them to have hearts like Jesus. Thank you for sharing your struggles and how God has helped you. That helps so much.

I read your post today and I am eager to hear what you have to say tonight as well at Girl's Night Out. Thank you for taking the time to encourage us all in our walks with the Lord and with our kiddos. Kiya in HOT, Texas.

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thank your for your devotions. They are very encouraging. I have a 6 yo boy and a 4 1/2 yo girl. We struggle some days. Thanks!

Mandy in SC

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wow...these last two posts have been so powerful for me! Thank you so very much for sharing your insights, wisdom & breakthroughs. I have three young children, ages 5, 3 and 21 months, I have often considered turning in that "pink slip". I've been desperate, lately, for God to direct me to some hope. I feel like such a failure some days (a lot of days). Your words about how God really sees me were powerful. I can't say they've totally replaced the feelings of failure, yet; however, I am hopeful that the roots have been planted for the fruit to grow and that the truth will battle the lies of the enemy. Thank you! I will definitely be purchasing your chart and CD.

Anonymous Anonymous said...

My best friend emailed me w/her 1/21/09 daily devotion "Knowing Where To Start". I had my "I Quit" day on Thurs 1/15/09. My 6 year old had sent me over the edge & I broke down crying. He definitely heard me crying out. The phone rang shortly after & it was my best friend. She always makes me feel better. Thank the Lord for her, you and your very uplifting & helpful message.
God Bless,
Kasey Keough

Anonymous Jennifer said...

What an awesome encouragement you have been. I was in tears after reading your story for today. I have a 18 year old and I get all advise from bible studies, etc. but I really need to look for the gold in my son. It has been so hard with the attitude and the hurtful things they can say and do as they don't think at that age. I have sacrificed many years to be a stay at home mom, sending him to Christian school, then homeschooling him for 8 years, then putting him in school last year in 11th grade. He is a senoir this year and WOW, it it hard to raise teenagers today! I thought I had life under control until he hit 16, then I asked God why he didn't send me a manual for teenagers! Thanks for helping me to look for the gold in him!

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm loving this series. Thank you for sharing your heart in this way. Parenting is the hardest job that begins with no training.
Ann in NC

Anonymous Anonymous said...

thanks for the practical ideas of how to be a better GODLY mother to my four children!

kari, missionary to ecuador

Anonymous annie chapman said...

Thank you for this post of given out a pink slip. Even though i wanted to do the same thing, mine did not involve children, it was all of the other things in life.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thanks for sharing a neat way to encourge our kids!


Blogger nazyouth4god said...

I am glad that you shared more of this story and I rejoice at the Happy Ending of it all. My favorite line that you wrote was "The Bible says children are an inheritance and parenting is a high calling" Realizing those two principles would be a great foundation.

nazyouth4god (at) hotmail (dot) com

Anonymous Betsy said...

Hi Renee. Thanks for the inspiration!

Blogger Bonnelle Pagel said...

SO appreciate your words....I have 2 teenagers and parenting still seems hard. Thank you though for the reminder to encourage my kids in all things. They need my support and love no matter what age they are. Thank you also for reminding me to keep my eyes on the Goal.


Blogger lisasmith said...


It was so much fun to meet you today!!! I love that now we've seen each other face to face and as I read your blog I can continue to see your sweet face. You ladies rock! Thanks for so bravely sharing your soul and your story.

I have sort of been doing this with my kids but I l.o.v.e. the idea of the nuggets...I think the rewards will begin flowing here in our home. What a great way to get our kids to purposely begin thinking of ways to exercise the character traits that we want to see acted out and developed in their hearts and lives.

I hope we can have more time to visit next time! I loved meeting you today. I am praying for Houston tonight.

May He fill you as you travel,

Blogger lisasmith said...

And, my email is

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thank you so much for the devotion yesterday and today. I needed it more than you know. I recently started working and feel that the mom I want to be is slipping through my grasp. I love the whole attititude and perspective of gold mining our children. I have always thought my children had wonderful qualities but never quite thought of it in this way. I love how you not only had this wonder new way of looking at your children but put it into action with the gold nuggets. I would love to receive the gold mining chart.

Ashlea in Nashville, Tn

Blogger Kimberly said...

Thank you for the positive encouragement. Every little bit helps!

Blogger Kristy Baca said...

Thanks for being such a great source of encouragment. I love this idea and am constantly looking for new ideas to bring scripture to my children. We will definetely be doing the m&m lesson!!

Thanks again
Kristy Baca

Anonymous Teri said...

Thank you Renee, for being open, I'm the mother of eight all grown noe but one. They range from 30 to 13. It wasn't until number 5 that I even started to know what being a mom was. Lots of triles and mistakes and I'm sorrys but I learned that our Children are truly the greatest gifts God could have ever gave to us straight from Him.I can't wait to read tomarrows. Thanks for the encouragement you share with all. Blessings, Teri

Anonymous Teri said...

I forgot e-mail Teri

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Continue on! your words of encouragement and ideas will be helpful for other mothers who feel like giving up. Thank you for giving GOD all the glory and having the wisdom to carry out his perfect works.

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Blogger Ashleigh Coleman said...

A friend just told me about Mining for Gold and a search on it led me to your site. I really think God is leading my family to do this with out little boys! Thank you for your site!

ashleigh in Texas

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